For someone who has been blogging for over five years, Mrs. G. is still cagey when it comes to social networking. Oh, she's in deep, but at least four times a week she feels suspicious and leery about all her business (even her humdrum, moth-eaten business) being spread all over creation. One reason she has been disconcertingly honest about many of her mistakes and shortcomings is because she figures she'd rather get them out there before someone else does. Rest assured there are still some less than stellar life experiences for friends to make a monkey of down the road, but Mrs. G. will likely spill the beans first. Even when she tries to keep a secret, to remain dignified, she usually can't hold out for more than three minutes. Just stay quiet and she will blurt out what she didn't want to tell you.
But back to her mistrust of the all knowing, retentive nature of cyberspace. Lately, Mrs. G. has become paranoid that the internet is judging her, maybe even targeting her as a hygienic concern. Everywhere she goes -- Facebook, Amazon, The New York times, Epicurious -- this ad is floating somewhere on the page:
Paranoia is setting in. Today, she took two showers and lathered four times from head to toe with ginger almond soap. Later, when she ordered file folders from Staples online, there it was:
If Mrs. G. up and disappears, you'll know why.
P.S. She smells great, like gin and rose water