Entries in Marriage (6)
Mrs. G. had to quit reading your comments only twenty in. Frankly, she and her Siamese cat couldn't bear the bludgeoning.
Some years ago, Mrs. G. was rummaging through an estate sale (though the estate was a simple two bedroom rambler) when she had that feeling, accompanied by raised hairs on the back of her neck, that someone was staring at her.
Mr. and Mrs. G. have hardly seen each other the past couple of weeks. Mrs. G. is driving to the hospital and visiting family group homes each day, and Mr. G. is working all day and umpiring previously scheduled games at night. Last night they crossed paths for the first time in a while. It took him six hours to notice that she had new glasses that couldn't be more different from her last pair. When he finally noticed, Mrs. G. shook her head and muttered mildly disgusted, man, I just don't get you.
In an effort prevent going down that well worn marital road, Mr. G. suggested they try to work in a movie this weekend together.
Mrs. G. said she would like to see Johnny Depp's new movie Public Enemies. But I haven't read any reviews, said Mrs. G, I don't know if it's supposed to be any good.
Does it really matter? Mr. G. said wryly.
And that's why she loves him. He gets her.
The New York Times published an article this week about long-married couples needing to reinvent the popular tradition of date night. Brain and behavior researchers have completed a study which indicates, "Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale." Apparently, according to this study, one of the ways to keep a relationship freshly crisp is for long-married couples to try new and exciting activities such as enrolling in an art class together or taking on a new sport such as skiing-the idea being "...injecting novelty in the relationship." The goal is to restore the rapture and sizzle of those first months of courtship. The conventional date night of dinner and a movie may not be enough to keep a marriage invigorated. The classic tradition of dinner and a movie may very well be inadequate, threadbare and dusty.
Sunday night is date night for Mr. and Mrs. G. And they almost always spend the evening...
So, yes, the butterflies of early love, for the most part, have fluttered elsewhere. They return occasionally when the valleys of a long-standing marriage slowly ascend, once more, to peaks. When children succeed or peace is restored or a neck is rubbed after a long week.
artwork by Nola Lopez and photos courtesy of Dan Heller, Mrs. G. and Google Images