The recent recall of millions of lead laced toys from China has made Mrs. G. happy that toys are no longer a part of her holiday shopping. Her kids have aged out of Thomas the Tank Engines and stuffed animals and are more interested in the entertainment value and plushness of cold hard cash.
Mrs. G. remembers the breezy 1970's of her childhood when no one cared if toys were safe. A time when swallowing a Mr. Potato Head eyeball was nothing a little Heimlich maneuver couldn't cure and searing your flesh on the E Z Bake Oven light bulb was a rite of passage. Safety Schmafety. Just quit your whining and go smoke a candy cigarette.
But the decade that breathed life into polyester and earth shoes wasn't just about disco and apathetic parenting. It also happened to be the decade of the most excellent toys. Mrs. G. should know. She played with most of them.
Mrs. G. and her cousins would spend hours playing this game. Mrs. G. remembers the thrill of "getting married" and "having children." She would shove as many pretend child pegs into her fake car as she could fit. This is pretty funny considering Mrs. G. now spends much of her time trying to shove actual children out of her real car.
Looking back, it's a wonder Mrs. G. lived through her childhood to tell the tale. She survived despite the fact that when she consulted her Magic Eight Ball about her future, it often predicted: Outlook not so good.