Entries in Blogging (131)

Thursday
Apr172014

I Just Can't Let You Miss This. I Love You Too Much

Not safe for work or shrinking violets or nuns. Mrs. G. promises she will wash her mouth out with soap tonight and get her ass back on the track of righteousness. Profanity and such.

Click to read more ...

Thursday
Mar202014

Spring

Photo by Pink Sherbert Photography

Mrs. G. apologizes for her absence the last couple of weeks. She went to visit family and decided to leave her laptop at home. While many of you have figured out how to write on your phones, Mrs. G. hasn't, not to mention her bear-like paws would produce text like the following:

nowr It thE tyMw furr yWq 3mat

Nobody wins in this situation.

Now, Mrs. G. has to apologizes for her absence in the future. The next few weeks, she has to focus on three important things...

1) Throwing herself passionately into a program that should help her reclaim general health and wellbeing.

2) Finding a job that pays money. A deadline looms.

3) Finishing a book of essays she was invited to submit. A deadline looms.

This blog is not closing and Mrs. G. plans to pop in with stories if she just can't help it. She will continue to put up the Confessional each and every Friday so we can continue to stay in touch on a regular basis. Please stick your head in to say hello even if you usually don't. The book club is still on. Speaking of book club, Mrs. G. was not able to log in to her own blog during the last one due to debit card issues (don't ask). If you are interested in discussing Five Days at Memorial next Sunday at 6:00 PST, Mrs. G. will be there. This book is too intense not to talk about.

Should you want to stay in touch with Mrs. G. through Facebook, feel free to friend her personally. Up above under "Mingle" you can find her personal page. All welcome.

See you in a few weeks, friends!

Thursday
Feb272014

just a laundry list to get the creative juices flowing

Trust Mrs. G. when she tells you she has continually sat down at this computer over the week and tried to generate something entertaining, suffering for her art, twirling her hair with one hand and swigging a Diet Dr. Pepper with the other. She shall suffer no more, Reader, because it occurred to her she could just tell you what she's been up to, with the faith that more interesting content will follow.

1) Mrs. G. has been running around her town looking for interesting women to photograph and talk to for her new pet project "Dames of the Pacific Northwest."  She has finally reached a point where she doesn't mouth breathe and sweat when she approaches a total stranger to ask personal questions. She loves connecting with fellow women and sees this delightfully rewarding project as one more opportunity to challenge her self-assigned mediocrity. It's exciting to be excited.

 

2) Mrs. G. has been obsessed with the new HBO show "True Detective." She has watched each episode twice attempting to tease out symbolism, innuendo and, of course, the identity of the Yellow King. She's not going to bore you with her carefully crafted manifesto but she's pretty sure she has the whole damn thing figured out. She'll wait until the conclusion to gloat because that's the good and right thing to do.

 

3) These bastards have been invading Mrs. G's dreams.

 

 

4) Mrs. G's "friend" Aaryn sent her this shirt in the mail. This offering follows on the heels of her I-Put-Your-Cat-Christmas-Card-In-The-Toilet Clash of 2013. Mrs. G. was simultaneously flattered and floored when she opened the package. Mrs. G. tried the shirt on and her shelf-like bosom only made the cat's eyes even more aberrant and narcotizing. Mr. G. was so alarmed and apprehensive about the cat's soul-sucking soulful glare and hallucinatory vibe, he made Mrs. G. put the shirt in the car before they went to sleep for the night.

Mrs. G. plans to wear it with a denim skirt to her next job interview and talk about her love of Sudoku puzzles along with her other job skills, like homeschooling, cutting her own hair and rug hooking.

 

Mrs. G. was so touched by Aaryn't thoughtfulness she has been doing some browsing of her own.

 

And then Mrs. G. discovered Aaryn's gift is a man's shirt that can go with Mrs. G's man shoes. Just when you didn't think it could get any worse, Mrs. G's mother. Thanksgiving, here we come.

 

5) Mrs. G. has been knee deep in the roller coaster ride that is Five Days at Memorial: Life and Death in a Storm-Ravaged Hospital. If you haven't joined the Derf Book Club, it's not too late. You can find the books and info here.

 

6) Mrs. G. got her first pair of bifocals last week. Hey, they aren't so bad.

 

What's up on your spot of the planet?

 

Monday
Dec232013

A Festive Shout Out

Merry What Ever You Celebrate to all the people who stop by here. Mrs. G. appreciates you. She has two wishes for you this holiday season: enjoy your family and friends and eat a lot of mashed potatoes and gravy!

She'll see you next week!

Friday
Nov152013

A Quick Response and Full Confessional Friday

Every September since I started this blog six years ago, I unfortunately fall into hole, a pit that diminishes my joy of just about everything (like this blog and my laptop and ______ (you name it) and compels me to pull away from my regular life in order to spare those around me from being burdened with my downer mentality. My instinct is to keep it to myself and just knuckle through, knowing it will eventually end. This is not the first time I have taken a break and while I wish it was the last, I can't be assure you of this. Despite frustrating adjustments in medication and increased counseling, frankly, it is what it is. I also feel the need to point out that I am certainly not the only blogger who has done this. For what ever reason, it has always felt cheesy to post that I'm not going to post. Plus, this whole experience is embarrassing. For any of you who have experienced this emotional dip, I'm sure you can attest that everything regarding who you are and what you  normally accomplish feels like just too much. To those of you who have felt the need to bluntly share it in the comments section or personal email that you are "done" with this blog, I have tried to express myself in a much more eloquent and kind way, but I find it impossible to to do so. In other words: knock yourself out. If after years of sharing my scatterbrained life and hundreds of carefully crafted stories you feel the need to quit reading and let me know rather than naturally fade away, Godspeed. I have tried to regularly updated Full Confessional Friday so that this community can continue to thrive even when I'm unable to write anything of worth.

And with that, let's get to our regularly scheduled programming.

Crispy Leaves

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.  

Friday
Sep062013

Seven Years and Full Confessional Friday! 9/6/2013

Today marks Mrs. G's seventh year spilling virtual ink on this blog. Seven is her favorite number for two reasons: one, she was 7-years-old when she was allowed to go see Young Frankenstein and commence her lifelong love affair with laughter and Madeline Kahn, and two, when she writes the number 7, putting the slash through its torso makes her feel all Continental European.

Seven. A good run. We've had some tip-top times, haven't we?

stopsign

 

But, hey, it's Friday, so let's get to it.

Little Girl Jumping in Party Dress

Photo by Pink Sherbert Photography

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.  

Wednesday
Sep042013

Like Chapter 11, but for poorer people

Simple Valentine free creative commons

Photo by Pink Sherbert Photography

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and while Mrs. G. tends to avoid it for fear that she will stray into the problematic vicinity of plagiarism, in this instance, she is pretty sure she is in the clear.

A few weeks back, the Bloggess (if you don't know her, you should) wrote a post called Like Oprah, but for poor people in which she listed her favorite (mostly) affordable things and asked her readers to share the same. Mrs. G. spent a hefty chunk of time over three days reading the thousands of comments and writing down interesting items she would like to try. She jotted down several of them for future Christmas, birthday and Mother's Day wish lists.

Mrs. G. thought it would be fun to do the same thing here at the Manor.

Mrs. G's Current Favorite Things

~Acure Moroccan Argan Oil Shampoo ($8.79) and Conditioner ($8.79)...Mrs. G. is always on the lookout for hair care products that combat frizz. Once a week, she works a liberal amount of the conditioner into her hair, puts on a bandana and leaves it in overnight. The next day she rinses it out (no shampooing) and her hair feels soft, silky and less frizzled. This stuff smells great too.

~Trader Joe's Fig Butter ($2.29)...Pour this over brie cheese to spread on crackers or sliced baguette and you will win friends and influence people. For those who don't have a Trader Joe's, Mrs. G. feels your pain. You can probably find something similar at your local grocery store (fig jam or preserves would do the trick) or purchase it for a ridiculous price at Amazon.

~Lord Krishna's Cuisine: The Art of Indian Vegetarian Cooking ($9.00-$26.00)...Indian food is a favorite at Mrs. G's house and this (according to Mrs. G's friend from Mumbai) is THE cookbook every Indian food lover should have in her kitchen. Mrs. G. can attest it is a great cookbook for shitty cooks ambivalent chefs.

~Ruby Jewel Ice Cream Sandwiches ($3.99 each)...Pricey but have you ever wondered what God tastes like? Here's your answer. Mrs. G's favorites are the Lemon Cookie with Honey Lavender ice cream and the Chocolate Cookie with Salted Caramel ice cream. 

~Jenny Lawson's (The Bloggess) book Let's Pretend This Never Happened ($12.09)...Easily the funniest book Mrs. G. has read this year (and, frankly, beyond). The chapter where Jenny's husband Victor stops to collect a dead rattlesnake out of the middle of the road is worth the purchase price alone.

~Dr. Teals Epsom Salt Soaking Solution ($4.89)...Mrs. G. takes her hydrotherapy seriously and this is her favorite bath product and it is so reasonably priced for a 3 lb. bag. It's good for relaxing, easing aches and pains and moisturizing skin. It also comes in other delicious flavors and looks pretty in an apothecary jar. You can find it at most chain drugstores. 

~Netflix...it's still the best deal in town. Here are Mrs. G's current much loved picks: Murder in Suburbia, Call the Midwife, Top of the Lake, The FallSafety Not Guaranteed and The Lie.

~Straight Up Food...Mr. and Mrs. G. are straight up carnivores, but they are trying to eliminate some meat from their weekly diet. Mrs. G. loves this blog. She has tried enough of the recipes to recommend it to those of you who want to add more veggies to your diet.

~The Feline Arts Council...just that it exists makes it a Mrs. G. favorite.

~Humans of New York Facebook Page...Mrs. G. gets something humorous or meaningful from this page every day.

~Second Skin Moist Burn Pads ($6.99)...The G. house is never without these in the first aid kit. If you get a minor burn, these pads will eliminate the pain (almost immediately) and help the burn heal. Mrs. G. has a runner friend who puts these on blisters so she can keep her crazy ass running without discomfort.

~ The Hugh Jackman Bra...still in the pre-production phase.

 

OK, your turn. Give it up for your favorite stuff.

Thursday
Jul252013

Oy!

 

Kathryn Fritz Special Collection Photo San Diego California

It's going to be even slimmer pickings around here until the middle of August. Mrs. G. is heading to California with her daughter, returning home to start a new job and sending her son off to New York. It will take her a few weeks to get into her groove and find a balance in her empty nest but rest assured, she will. She'll continue putting up the confessional, so everyone can stay in touch.

Mrs. G. will see you in a few weeks! Please stick around.