Full Confessional Friday! 6/20/2014

Mrs G. was gone so long she's surprised the lights are still on around here. She wasn't off doing anything spectacular, but she'll fill you in next week, when things will get back to normal in this little pocket of the universe. Happy weekend!

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.

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Reader Comments (20)

Just a note to let those who read here to know that I will have info about the site we will use for getting healthier sometime next week.

Hope all is well.

June 20, 2014 | Registered CommenterMrs. G.

EEEEEK! Snakes!
I am making samosas* for dinner and pouring a hefty glass of cheapo jug vino in less than an hour. Sprinkle in one wife, one naughty grey tiger and a winsome beagle and I am SET :)
Happy weekend all!
*Winging it, right? Something to do with some kind of potato-pea mix and a wrapper, I will give it a whirl :)

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGary Edward Rith

Is it too late to join the 'getting healthier' site?

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbendersmutter

Nope, it's not too late. Details in a few days.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermrs. g.

Ahhh, happy summer, everyone! For the moment I"m really enjoying no early alarms (for the high schooler), no field trips, no lunches (because the charter school doesn't have a cafeteria), no homework oversight, no nothing. If they look even half-bored, I yell, "Get outside, then!" They're so grateful to come back into the a/c later, I don't hear from them for a good while. Ha!

Plus, after a loooooooooong hiatus, I've kind of, sort of re-entered the work world (the paying kind, not the volunteer kind). I'm doing some administrative but also some writing work for a friend who runs a consulting business and I feel needed and appreciated (and paid!). It feels good and is the perfect, part-time segue back into that universe.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersusan

Glad you're back Mrs. G!

I've decided that I could have a second career writing and editing instructions. We've been doing a flooring project and the information that is lacking is quite troublesome. "Snaps Together - No Tools Needed!" except for the hammer drill and screwdriver you need before you get to the snapping together part. It's been driving me crazy but will hopefully be all done this weekend.

Gary, please send vino and samosas! Have a great weekend everyone.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

Gary, I LOVE samosas. Let us know how they turn out. The perfect ones have a little kick to them that has you waving your hand in front of your face but happy.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersusan

So you know how things have been crappish for me? Like, my massage business not turning into what I hoped (very few private clients, working at a chiropractor's office is ... peculiar and not well-paying)? And my flute teaching business has not been expanding at all?

The Universe just plopped something potentially HUGE in my lap.
A local TV station apparently partners with a local business or person for a year, and they do things like (for example) a local cardiologist becomes the "face" of heart health, and does one-minute-long blurbs on MWF during the morning news about heart health. And his face is on billboards. And they hosted a mini website on their page, and film/photograph/edit and produce all kinds of multi media advertising and informational pieces for him.

OK. Fast forward to the present. I'm part of a small business that involves massage therapists, energy healers, yoga teachers, and lots of other kinds of holistic healing. This TV station wants US to be their business for a year. This will cost a small amount for each of us to defray web and advertising expenses ($150ish per month each) but O.M.G.

Professionally-done photography and video? Exposure?

They said that the cardiologist mentioned above had to actually give his current clients another phone number to call so they could get through because of all the new potential clients.

I'm staggered. We're all having a second meeting with them next week to further discuss the plan, and start hammering out contracts.


I am SO trying to keep calm and not start fantasizing, but this could be ... everything I need for my business.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

Kate, that actually sets my heart aflutter for you; the thought of things taking off is so exciting. The caution I would give, being an optimist married to "a realist" as he calls it, is to have an 'n' of more than one before you go into this with open arms. It sets off slight alarms for me when I hear that you have to pay for the privilege of being selected. It seems so lucky and wonderful, BUT, are there more past, satisfied folks you can talk over the pros and cons with than just the cardiologist? Are there any negatives? Was the return on their investment everything they hoped? Was there anything about the experience they wish they had considered more carefully? Is there anything they would do differently? Do they have any advice on what to do or not do?

Best of luck, friend!! I know you will make a smart decision.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersusan

I am planning to call up the cardiologist I mentioned (he is actually the father of a former student, so I think he'll take the time to talk to me), and do lots of research before I sign anything.

June 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

Samosas were flippin' TASTY. The key was the filling: I boiled a diced potato, then drained and mashed it with some diced onion and a little olive oil, a lot of hot sauce and tumeric and curry and bl. pepper powder. Then stirred in peas. The tastiest mashed potato I have ever made, makes me think "who needs wrapper?" :) Kate, I hope you fly!

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGary Edward Rith

had my annual check up yesterday with the doc and I am not doing too bad, just need to exercise more, eat less, isn't that always the case. At 90 plus degrees I am finding it hard to get that walk in... Working and pinching more babies this summer. Mrs. G, I have been thinking of you! Fill us in soon hugs galore! M

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermeredith@whynot

Just want to say...
@Mrs. G. If we can't keep the lights on for the creator of this awesome "Manor" than for whom should we keep them on?
Love you all, miss you all, glad you all are here.

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlbug

Enjoying a brief bit of R & R at the beach with an old friend and her family. The drive was definitely worth it.

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter1Les

Working on development of a pitch to expand my department beyond replacement of the doctor currently departing, to bring in 2 at once. Current revenue does not support this and growth with the one new doctor over the past year was slower than I anticipated, but I think it will work.

I'm just afraid that I'll invest this time (on this glorious sunny day) and my partners will vote "NO", and then I will be annoyed at them for continuing to get in my way. Even now, some of their actions on a day to day basis interfere with the growth of our department. I have a vision for this service, and I really hope I'll be able to realize it.

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Just got back from a flurry of a drive over to your neighborhood for my nephew's graduation/event of importance. We were only there for one night or I might have tried to visit. As it was, there was plenty of activity to keep sleep to a bare minimum -- and enough food for thought to make me grateful to come home to a teenager without a job and a 21yo who hardly believes in showering.
So very glad that what was troublesome there was "not my circus, not my monkee" even when my own drives me nuts on occasion.

I've been going through some stuff, and so many times I go back to... is this some sort of test? To see how much I can take? My daughter is killing me slowly. My beautiful, intelligent daughter is destroying her life from my viewpoint, but she won't do anything to attempt to make it better. People keep telling me I need to do something about her - my parents mostly. She had a daughter at the age of 17-a senior in high school. I've made excuses for her for 3 years and tried to help her as much as I could-advice, money, babysitter, place to stay as she and the baby-daddy rode a roller coaster of on again, off again.

There are 3 things I cannot stand in a person- lying, cheating, stealing. I've lived my life as honestly as I possibly can. Have I ever lied? Yes. Usually to prevent hurting someone. Never to take advantage of anyone. She has done all 3. People make mistakes, I know. I tried to use that reasoning. She'll learn a lesson, she's still growing up... but it happened more than once. Once is a mistake, anything after that is a choice.

She's never held a job for very long. She seems to be either a weak person, or a lazy person, or even a manipulative person. I've offered so much help. Then recently decided that I cannot help her. I can't help someone who doesn't want my help. And that realization has made me so very sad. I can only sit and watch as my daughter makes mistake after mistake. Few problems with that are... her decisions also affect my granddaughter's life. She offers her no stability, staying in random places with "friends" - people I wouldn't trust to walk my dog.

So I called the baby-daddy and told him everything she has been doing, and offered to testify against her if he wanted to file for custody. Which will tear me in two when/if it happens. She does love her daughter -she just doesn't see what she is doing to her. I feel like if I do nothing, my granddaughter will suffer. But if I help take her daughter away from her, am I destroying my daughter? How do I do either? Is it none of my business?

Friends tell me I'm doing the right thing. My parents tell me it will destroy her if she loses her daughter. She won't look for a job, doesn't have a car, "lives" with my parents (only because of the threat of losing her daughter) - but leaves when her daughter goes to her dad's on Fridays. Her daughter comes back to my parents on Sunday night, but she doesn't come back until Tuesday or Wednesday. My mom is raising her daughter for her. Even when she is there, she is staying up late, and sleeping late while my mom does things for her daughter. She won't grow up and take responsibility for herself and her daughter. And it's driving me crazy. Right now, I have peace of mind knowing that my granddaughter is with my mom through the week. This was only a recent development (about a month). And I've talked to her- I've talked, I've yelled, I've listened and tried to be understanding and helpful, nothing works.

I feel like a failure as a parent. I tried to do it all correctly -I always tried to set a good example. I'm kind to other people. I've worked all of my life. I had no help from her father - no support, no contact, nothing.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to reach her. I miss my daughter.

Sorry for the long, rambling post. Not sure it entirely conveys what all is going on- that would take a lot longer to explain.

Thanks for having a place to at least type it all, even if it doesn't get read and there are no answers. I've started writing here several times, but have never been able to click that "create post" button.

June 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I don't have any advice, but some years ago I decided that it was better to say something awkwardly, maybe even wrong, than to remain silent and allow the other person to believe that they are not being heard. We see people like this all the time, odds being what they are, of course some of us are going to be related to some of them. And sometimes, somehow things work out. I would encourage you to take care of yourself, the old - the first oxygen mask is for you - nearly always applies, doesn't it? Because you will want to be at your best when the day comes that you can make a difference. I will be thinking of you and your situation and sending positive thoughts your way. (and hoping someone far wiser checks in to offer good ideas for you soon)

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranother sue

Dear "Me",
Your pain and sadness is obvious in your posting, and my heart goes out to you. I think that you have decided to make your granddaughter's safety and happiness your priority and I would do the same. She is the innocent victim of your adult daughter's poor choices, and must be protected at all costs. A selfish, immature, dishonest mother is not likely to change suddenly into a responsible parent. In the meantime, that little girl needs you to fight for her right to a stable, safe environment because she will not be able to speak for herself for many more years. Please seek help from professional agencies who can provide services in your area. Are there Derfs that can suggest some free social service networks for non-custodial grandparents in the USA? (I am assuming you are in the US, but perhaps you are not.) Don't beat yourself up over your daughter's screwed up life...focus instead on your granddaughter's future. May the force be with you.

June 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEllie

Thank you another sue and Ellie. I have been saying the same thing, Ellie, that I have to think of my granddaughter and what is best for her. And I will continue to do so, no matter what.

June 23, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMe

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