Thursday
Apr172014

full confessional thursday. feeling a little feisty so let's shake things up buttercup.

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.  

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Reader Comments (38)

Awesomesauce.....I got my glasses and everything just so I could see it well.....thanks Mrs. G.....

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

Wish that was my brick wall!

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Trudy, your comment cracked me up. You're a gem!

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

I clicked JUST SO I COULD LEAVE A NASTY COMMENT!!! you're welcome.

My confessional is that I really do wonder exactly how much one person is supposed to stand and still keep moving forward. My dad had a heart attack 18 months ago, marriage ended suddenly and spectacularly 17 months ago, he moved in with the other woman 10 months ago, my dad had a second heart incident 9 months ago, the divorce was final 5 months ago, then my dad died 1 month ago. Now I am dealing with grieving and trying to help my grieving mom from thousands of miles away. I am out of vacation so I will not be able to go back east to see her this summer as I had hoped. I am SO DONE!!! please, can I get a break?

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

My husband is looking at me with a bemused look on his face because i literally laughed out loud when the picture came up. Best post ever!

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermamaraby

Thanks Mrs. G! Now I'm craving meat...

Becca, so sorry to hear of all your going through. Just sending cyber-hugs.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShelly in SoCal

I am embarrassed to go to my gynecologist and for my mammogram because of all the weight I have gained since my last appointment. Almost a year over-due. 51 years old and ashamed of my body?! Even I know how ridiculous it sounds.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersheryl

Becca, if I could send you a gift-wrapped box of breaks (and chocolate croissants), I would. You so deserve them. I am impressed that you are such a loving, attentive mother and continue to put one foot in front of the other.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

I will probably dream about that photo tonight.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Best confessional picture ever! I had to click back to see if what I saw was what I saw!

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

You got my attention!

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

we've been watching him on tv.
Now, this will be my dessert.

Families can drive you mad.
Take some time to do something for you.
I'm sending all the hugs I can

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermeredith@whynot

Sheryl, you are not alone. I haven't had a physical in four years because of the same reason. I just asked a friend to go with me -- partly to not let me chicken out and partly for the solidarity. I read a blog post where the blogger (feeling similarly), told the doctor immediately that she knew she was overweight and didn't need to be shamed because it prevented her from seeking healthcare. The doc totally got it and I'm planning to do the same when I go for my long overdue physical.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Becca, so sorry for you loss. Is it possible for you mother to visit you? The change of scenery might do her good and bring you some comfort.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDorrie

Does he have a BONER?
Hmmm. I confess that went to the lab for my diabetes tests and stopped at the bakery for a blueberry muffin on the way home.

CONFESSION #2. I was supposed to get my IUD removed 4 years ago but didn't have health insurance. Is my uterus going to fall out onto the sidewalk?

kind of like when i read a book review that says "there was too much sex in this book for me", i couldn't click the button fast enough to see what was going on (or to buy!!).
heh heh heh

and count me in on that "i need to go get a physical but i do not want to be told that i have gained weight...hello? i know that".

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterdebKuroiwa

I knew the weight gain jig was up when I passed that menopause year mark...I'd been fighting the gain since age 38 when I entered "peri" menopause...not knowing that that was what it was. When I could not just go into diet mode to make my stomach flat again! Knowledge, a powerful thing. I wish someone *someone* had clued me in back then.

Now, I know better. Age gracefully chickies. I have been faithful mammograming since age 40. As a medical prof, I know better than to let the shit get me down. Like, gaining weight, being embarrassed, etc. I have been telling the nurse/tech who does the blood pressure/weighing, etc, before the gyn comes in the exam room, to "NOT TELL ME WHAT MY WEIGHT IS" when I climb on the scale. I tell her, it's ok to write it down in my chart (duh) but DO NOT SAY IT OUT LOUD. And you know what? She doesn't! I really admire that in her. I tell her also, that while I know I am heavier, I am not weighing myself, I go by how my clothes fit. Last year? I knew I was down some weight, because I had bought a size smaller in pants. That's it. That's the magic secret women. Then, GO to your exam. Get your blood work done, because that too is a bit scary--the "pre-diabetes" hit. I am ONE point away from being told I am diabetic. I know it's my weight, too that is doing this. I tried this year to stop porking out, but I have been unable to do it, and I know from how my clothes fit, that I am not down any weight. And I put off my annual exam/mammo visit from January until right now. Tomorrow is the boob-squeeze day for me. And next week is the blood work. I hate the anticipation of it all, but oh well. If you are at all curious to see if you are nearing the diabetic scale, go to Walgreens, buy an A13 kit and see how your blood sugar has been for the past 3 months or so. I am also at the one point away margin on that kit. Oh well. Time to age gracefully. Oh, and I'm 51 too.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Well, it is Passover, and that is SOME SHANKBONE.

Sheryl, I hope you will delay no longer. I like Mrs G's idea of asking a friend to go along to the appointment. Or at least tell a friend.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCommon Household Mom

Yeah!

That is all.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisse

shite, that would be the A1c diabetes test. not A13....gotta love memory loss!

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I had to go buy a whole bunch of next size up clothes yesterday. Fuck it. Fuck everything. I don't understand and am having a mini personal crisis. I run and I lift and log what I eat and I can't lose a single god damn pound. I got tested for thyroid problems, nope. But I am in good shape, can run four miles with an 8 min 30 sec split! What the fuck! I think there has been some kind of hormonal shift. Also I want to kick every one in the balls and yell and cry a lot. So yeah, maybe hormones.

So if anyone wants to go get in a bar fight, I am your A-1 back up right here. Stout, strong, and angry.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermolly

I stopped taking my Effexor a few weeks ago and it's been kicking my butt. I quit, even though my sister (amateur pharmacist) told me NOT to do that. But I was out of refills, I just moved and don't have a primary care doctor, and I just didn't feel like dealing with it. HUGE MISTAKE! The first week was weird...vivid dreams, heart palpitations, general freaked-out feelings. Now I've got diarrhea. What is in this shit that it screws you up when you quit taking it? Scary.

And I've pissed off a couple of Republican friends on Facebook because I got vocal (often) about the Equal Pay debate. And you know what? I DON'T CARE. The Faux News crowd make me sick, and I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut.

And Heather, I'm still reeling from your post about being turned down for a job because your blog is 'immoral.' GOD DAMN IT. What fucking Bible do these people read, anyway? I'm sorry that you've had to deal with it, but I'm proud that you're still hanging tough. If you have to make the hard choice, you will be missed, but personal finances come before your loyal and adoring followers.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNacCrackHouse

Had a good chuckle at the confessional pic! Glad to see you back, Mrs. G ; )

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter~ Galiena

First, the good news: Three weeks and two days from now, I will receive a Bachelor of Science degree in Hospitality, Restaurant, and Tourism Management. I am so proud of myself for FINALLY graduating from college after screwing it up no less than three times before I turned 24, then working as a secretary for 20 years. I am 49 years old, I have a 3.65 GPA, and I am so proud of myself for reaching this goal!!

The tough thing is that I can't afford to pay for my own graduation party so my parents are paying for it. Which means it is happening the way my mom wants it to happen, not the way I want. Which means it will be DIY, not catered. My mom and sisters have excellent taste and I know the party itself will be lovely. I wanted to have it catered so we could avoid doing all of the prep work and cleanup ourselves. We live far apart and they will only be here for a couple of days and I don't want to spend the bulk of our time together cooking and cleaning. I want to celebrate and really enjoy the moment!

I am trying so so hard to let it go (cue overplayed Disney music) but A) this is my damn graduation party, and B) event planning is my business. My mom and sisters keep telling me that the prep won't take all that much time. Um, I think it will but my opinion doesn't matter. The whole reason my mom wants to do it "ourselves" is to save money, but I think it will cost as much plus we have to do all of the work.

Much more important than how a party happens, I finally - after 6 years - said goodbye to Himself for real and for good. I told him what I need in our relationship and asked him to show (not tell) me how important I am to him. He said that if I couldn't accept the way things were, then my "friendship will be missed." That was a month ago. I haven't heard from him. I guess he is sure showing me how (un)important I really am, huh? It hurts. So much.

Lastly? I need a job after graduation but I haven't had even a nibble yet.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterViolet

First, the good news: Three weeks and two days from now, I will receive a Bachelor of Science degree in Hospitality, Restaurant, and Tourism Management. I am so proud of myself for FINALLY graduating from college after screwing it up no less than three times before I turned 24, then working as a secretary for 20 years. I am 49 years old, I have a 3.65 GPA, and I am so proud of myself for reaching this goal!!

The tough thing is that I can't afford to pay for my own graduation party so my parents are paying for it. Which means it is happening the way my mom wants it to happen, not the way I want. Which means it will be DIY, not catered. My mom and sisters have excellent taste and I know the party itself will be lovely. I wanted to have it catered so we could avoid doing all of the prep work and cleanup ourselves. We live far apart and they will only be here for a couple of days and I don't want to spend the bulk of our time together cooking and cleaning. I want to celebrate and really enjoy the moment!

I am trying so so hard to let it go (cue overplayed Disney music) but A) this is my damn graduation party, and B) event planning is my business. My mom and sisters keep telling me that the prep won't take all that much time. Um, I think it will but my opinion doesn't matter. The whole reason my mom wants to do it "ourselves" is to save money, but I think it will cost as much plus we have to do all of the work.

Much more important than how a party happens, I finally - after 6 years - said goodbye to Himself for real and for good. I told him what I need in our relationship and asked him to show (not tell) me how important I am to him. He said that if I couldn't accept the way things were, then my "friendship will be missed." That was a month ago. I haven't heard from him. I guess he is sure showing me how (un)important I really am, huh? It hurts. So much.

Lastly? I need a job after graduation but I haven't had even a nibble yet.

April 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterViolet

@Violet: Congratulations on the degree! You did it, you deserve to bask in the glow of accomplishment! I'm sorry about Himself, but my fingers are crossed that this is a window opening to make room for something wonderful for you.

Re: That picture: That's the nicest thing I've seen in a very long time.

As for me, SSDD. I don't post much about it online or talk about it much in real life any more because even though issues get solved, new ones always pop up in their place, and they're just variations on the same old theme.

My confession: because of my in laws, it doesn't look like I'm going to get the vacation this year I'd kind of sort of started planning, and I am extremely unhappy about that.

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTC

Violet: Congratulations! I'm sorry about the party kerfluffle but so proud of you for finishing college!
NacCrackHouse: I've decided I'm on Effexor for life. Even missing one dose does very bad things to me but it's better than prison (my depression symptoms erupt in anger).
Molly: I'm there with you on the weight loss conundrum. (Okay, so I can't run to save my life, but I am really watching my food intake and... nothing.) Hormones it is -- family, beware.
Becca: You've been through a heckuva 18 months. I hope the light starts shining through those cracks SOON! (PS: I like the idea of your mom coming to see you -- is this possible?)

Add me to the list of women who are avoiding going to the doctor because of the health pep-talk awaiting me there. The last time I went in (tendinitis in my elbow), I was sent to the lab for overdue bloodwork. The doctor wanted to spend all of the time lecturing me about numbers which were better than my previous numbers but still not "good enough" for him. I was SO mad! I was there because 4 months of worsening tendinitis and he was focused on numbers. WTH?!

Wow. I had never seen that picture before. Takes me way back to when I worked in a restaurant kitchen. Those chefs and cooks really loved sexual innuendo to the degree that nowadays it would be considered harrassment.

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenter~annie

Oh my. The doctor visit thing. Isn't it interesting that such amazing, tremendous, nurturing, attentive, fascinating women still fall into the I-don't-want-to-go-to-the-doc-because-of-the-weight issue? Boggles my mind - and erases the I-am-alone-in-my-screwed-upedness about the same issue. I am down to the last two weeks of thyroid meds, and my doc retired, so I have to start over again. So not looking forward to that. And yes, I have started, but having no luck so far. Rural medicine truly is in crisis, who knew? And I have so much to do outside, but the air is literally blue this AM from all the grassland burning in my part of the country, so I am most likely inside for another day. Enough whining? Yesterday I did some research regarding a woman who married into our family at age 50 and became a wife and mother - to obnoxious teenagers - for the first time. And stumbled onto another story about a woman marrying a man with 7 children after being an "old maid" all of her life. Kinda' made my life look good, doncha' know. Take care, dear derfs! Always remember, the first oxygen mask is for you! We need to develop some acronym for that rule, so we can encourage each other to take care of self first, so as to be healthy enough to take care of all the others vying for our attention.

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranother sue

You did it Violet! I am so proud and impressed! Fingers and toes crossed for a nibble. Way to go woman!

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermrs. g.

Mmm. Bone marrow!

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

Okay, maybe that's not all.

Health problems seem to be a bit of a theme this week, so I'll confess that I've been battling a few of my own. I'm not yet 50, but I feel like my body is falling apart. At the same time, I have to get better at accomplishing things without driving myself into the ground. I have to get more sleep at an age where women typically have trouble sleeping.

My husband has been a fairly equal partner but my sons are getting to be teenagers and they still seem oblivious to the amount of work they create because they don't take the time to do something right the first time (and I'm not really one of those my way or the highway types).

I have one major life goal left to accomplish, but I'm just so exhausted right now, I don't know how it is ever going to happen. Everybody in my life neeeeeeeds something from me.

Waaah!

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisse

Thank you. I needed that photo today.

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRegina

Violet, congratulations!

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

Um Hello Tony! ! That's a mighty big bone ya got there. Thanks for corrupting us all Mrs. G. As if we need the help!

April 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisawinks

Molly -
I went from being minimally active to going to a boot camp class every other week and doing more exercise in between, starting in July of last year. I got much stronger and had more stamina but was surprised that I wasn't seeing much difference in how my clothes fit. Then my doctor recommended an elimination diet (cut out everything with high rate of sensitivities, then add back in individually) - I found out that I had symptoms I didn't realize were symptoms (chronically low grade stuffy nose, midafternoon lethargy, headaches) and identified dairy as the cause. During the elimination diet phase I had more energy and slimmed down considerably.

Another thought, do you vary your workouts/intensity? That can help break through a plateau...

I used to think naturopaths were fringe-y, but am very pleased that I tried this!!

April 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

making that appointment tomorrow. thanks for the support, Mrs G and Derfworld! all we need is to remember we aren't alone in our crazy feelings.

April 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersheryl

I'm with you Sheryl and all who have put off the doc visit because of weight shame. I still can't make the appt., but at least now you all are making me seriously think about it.

April 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngAK

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