Thursday
Feb272014

just a laundry list to get the creative juices flowing

Trust Mrs. G. when she tells you she has continually sat down at this computer over the week and tried to generate something entertaining, suffering for her art, twirling her hair with one hand and swigging a Diet Dr. Pepper with the other. She shall suffer no more, Reader, because it occurred to her she could just tell you what she's been up to, with the faith that more interesting content will follow.

1) Mrs. G. has been running around her town looking for interesting women to photograph and talk to for her new pet project "Dames of the Pacific Northwest."  She has finally reached a point where she doesn't mouth breathe and sweat when she approaches a total stranger to ask personal questions. She loves connecting with fellow women and sees this delightfully rewarding project as one more opportunity to challenge her self-assigned mediocrity. It's exciting to be excited.

 

2) Mrs. G. has been obsessed with the new HBO show "True Detective." She has watched each episode twice attempting to tease out symbolism, innuendo and, of course, the identity of the Yellow King. She's not going to bore you with her carefully crafted manifesto but she's pretty sure she has the whole damn thing figured out. She'll wait until the conclusion to gloat because that's the good and right thing to do.

 

3) These bastards have been invading Mrs. G's dreams.

 

 

4) Mrs. G's "friend" Aaryn sent her this shirt in the mail. This offering follows on the heels of her I-Put-Your-Cat-Christmas-Card-In-The-Toilet Clash of 2013. Mrs. G. was simultaneously flattered and floored when she opened the package. Mrs. G. tried the shirt on and her shelf-like bosom only made the cat's eyes even more aberrant and narcotizing. Mr. G. was so alarmed and apprehensive about the cat's soul-sucking soulful glare and hallucinatory vibe, he made Mrs. G. put the shirt in the car before they went to sleep for the night.

Mrs. G. plans to wear it with a denim skirt to her next job interview and talk about her love of Sudoku puzzles along with her other job skills, like homeschooling, cutting her own hair and rug hooking.

 

Mrs. G. was so touched by Aaryn't thoughtfulness she has been doing some browsing of her own.

 

And then Mrs. G. discovered Aaryn's gift is a man's shirt that can go with Mrs. G's man shoes. Just when you didn't think it could get any worse, Mrs. G's mother. Thanksgiving, here we come.

 

5) Mrs. G. has been knee deep in the roller coaster ride that is Five Days at Memorial: Life and Death in a Storm-Ravaged Hospital. If you haven't joined the Derf Book Club, it's not too late. You can find the books and info here.

 

6) Mrs. G. got her first pair of bifocals last week. Hey, they aren't so bad.

 

What's up on your spot of the planet?

 

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Reader Comments (28)

Almost done with the book! Yowza!

February 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

Ice cream: I know, why WOULDN'T you put enormous gobs of chocolate and peanut butter and everything else in there?
Bifocals: OH YES, guess what's on my face now......yours look quite fetchin', darlin' :)
Up with ME? I s'pose 2 above zero is better than 2 below zero, but this winter has tried a person's patience a wee bit.... and the wife's birthday is Saturday and she wants lunch at the bangkok kitchen and WON'T SHE be surprised when she finds out I invited her writing class to join the 2 of us...
Keep on truckin' Mrs G!

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergary Rith

A lot is going on ..fill you in later.
The cat shirt, omg.
Love the dames. That is stellar work.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermeredith@whynot

You know, those of us who live alone usually do not laugh enough. That was remedied at my house this morning by you and aaryn. As for "goings on" here, I have been trying to correctly label the circuit breaker box. This has involved a trouble light, the longest extension cord I own, and many, many jaunts up and down stairs. I'm counting it as exercise, aggravation be damned.

Today I will use the wheelbarrow to haul more firewood in closer as another round of will-this-f*@#ing-winter-never-end is poised to attack. I know it is not a personal affront, but as I deal with it on a one-on-one basis, it's hard to remember that it's not personal. I think I'll plant a flat of summer flowers later today to offset the ever looming depression. Thinking of Aunt Snow this AM and her backyard pond project?!

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranother sue

I like the job interview plan. If you can't fight the stereotype, own it.

But I do not get the appeal of the new Ben and Jerry's flavors. Why not swirl the center flavor throughout the ice cream, like the Breyer's fudge swirl that I have enjoyed for aeons? I guess I just like my frozen confections pre-mixed.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersuburbancorrespondent

Well, this was very entertaining. I wonder if the hunk wearing the cat shirt was actually wearing it or if it was all photo-shopped?
I am in the sunny south taking care of my grandsons while their parents are with my granddaughter at a gymnastics meet three states away. I am very tired, I'd forgotten how exhausting it is to be a mom of two active boys.
I am so happy to be away from the relentless winter up north. I feel for all of you, but this was a perfect year to spend six weeks in Florida. However, my brother-in-law who is watching our house and our animals probably won't do it for us again. He is a city-boy and not used to being stranded in the country because of high winds and drifting.
He called yesterday and asked when we would be coming home. His big brother told him we'd be home when the snow was gone.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlbug

Well, Mrs. G., apparently your life is so interesting we can all be entertained by your journal! Good news on both sides. However, now you'll feel pressure to do cool stuff so we can be further entertained. The Dames is just wonderful! I look for it often. The shirt is just plain unspeakably hideous, and I'm sure the retaliation gauntlet has been thrown. Mr. G.'s response to it cracks me up. The glasses are excellent! And, Mrs. G., it's cold here. Quite cold. 34 below cold. Pray for us and our utility bills next month.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

Capturing the Ben and Jerry's photo for an example of innovation in my class next week. I think it's genius.
The Dames are all wonderful! Have you considered making a book out of the experience?

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

I enjoy this blog so much! But I really hate wiping up the coffee I spit all over it. The cat shirts are hilarious!! Where do I find the Dames of the Northwest?

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScherrie Uhlig

Scherrie, you can find it here:

https://www.facebook.com/damesofthenorthwest

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Boo hoo! The book club books are unavailable at my library. Or, at least until January, 2015, according to the waitlist.

Here in sunny southern California, our historic drought has been momentarily relieved by a storm that's being touted as epic; resulting from climatic conditions unmatched since 1983, when massive floods occured.

All this, when we have four giant 6 foot deep holes in our backyard, due to a major septic tank disaster. The possibilities are endless. Will a deer, one of the herd roaming the neighborhood in search of green vegetation, that have become accustomed to browsing on my rose bushes, fall into one of the holes in the dark and break a limb? Will the water fill up the giant holes and back up another shit geyser into our basement? Or will the flood just liquify the hillside, undermine our house's foundation and send us sliding down the canyon? I can't wait to find out!

Meanwhile, at work today, I will be interacting with a client - a major film awards show hosted in a tent by the beach, as they franticly build up temporary asphalt berms to keep the flow of water from running into the Piaget lounge. Will their red carpet be the soggiest ever? Will the endless margarita taps be sullied with rainwater? Which sponsor's name will brand the umbrellas that shelter the starlets as they wait for credential check? Tune in this time Saturday to find out.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

That shirt. It swims before my eyes, even though it is a still photo.

Around here, we replaced a light fixture. I am very happy that I invested in long underwear a few weeks ago.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCommon Household Mom

I'm loving Dames of the Northwest. I've found at least three (3) new BFF's and adopted lots of kids. Understand Mr.G's fear of the cat shirt, even without the cat it would be scary. Love your new glasses.

Me? Same ole, same ole.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGail

Love how FULL your life is!
Here--I accepted one job offer and turned down the other, hosted extra boys for a slumber party, wrote 2,000 words for my next work-in-progress, bought two pairs of shes (see: accepted job offer), and FINE-UH-LEE finished slogging through "The Goldfinch."
Your dames are a highlight on my FB feed.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGreen Girl in Wisconsin

Fighting off the cold in my head and the cold out the door. Man - -43 C with the wind chill? Remind me again why I live here. Loving the Dames - especially the mother who wants a union - I am on board. And the cat shirt? Would love to be a fly on the wall of THAT interview - especially if you take out your knitting.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermomwhoknits

I see those Dames as a quite creative outlet - wonderful photos and words. I got no worries 'bout your mind and abilities, honey. As I mentioned privately, I can't read that book - too close in time and experience. (I will relate - as I have probably already - coming out of my house a few weeks after we returned, heading to the nearby post office, where the crashed helicopter still lay on its side. Someone several blocks away started yelling at me. I waited until he got closer. He was an older, fairly tall, African American with one of those glowing orange safety vests. He said, "I been working here for weeks, cleaning streets. I haven't seen a woman for all that time. Could I just have a hug?" I looked at him, then we had a big, long hug. He thanked me and each continued on our ways.)

As I type this, a marching band is playing nearby, the music fading and growing as they move around the neighborhood, practicing for parades of the next five days. It's sunny, the temperature probably took its last fall yesterday, and I'm going outside to hear the music clearly. Hope you all have bands playing in your heads.

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenternaomi d

Will this winter never end? For the love of God...I am sick of being cold

Family CRISIS for my admin and my boss out of town=flying solo and I am ONLY one person..hello.

I am "not in flight entertainment." Do not call me only when you are in the car to tell me where you are going, what you are doing etc. I simply don't care.

I only want to hear " I went to the gym" if you fell off the treadmill. You know who you are.

Do NOT call me before 8 AM ever UNLESS you are on fire. Seriously. I am trying to get to work on time.

Get off the phone and drive already.

Dames...love them ALL! Great project.

The cat shirt. Hideous and hysterical. Let the games begin.

Happy Weekend to all...

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

I must say, Mr. G's response struck me as perfect! My sister was recently called for jury duty and dressed up for the occasion. She told me that she was immediately dismissed, but a women in a huge cat-face T-shirt passed muster as juror. Perhaps she was wearing the twin of Aaryn's "gift"?

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

That shirt. I love this "feud". Love it.

My neck of the wood is a bit nuts right now.
At work I'm trying to decipher notes from a costume designer whose native language is not English. I think its her 3rd language. Its becoming a bit frustrating. Usually, I can pick up pretty quickly what people mean, but I'm having trouble with her.

Also, went on an awesome job interview a few weeks ago and keep getting the "we'll be making a decision soon" email. I cant decide if I should just be ok with the fact that I didn't get it or if I should bother them.

But to combat my worry wort nature, my friends and I are going to an art auction tonight. If I see any cat art, I'm buying it and its getting mailed to Mrs. G!

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRegina

Oh! Oh! That shirt. The bra. No, just no. Even for this cat lady. No.

Love your glasses. I'm trying to get used to "progressive" glasses and they are driving me nuts. This is the second go round and I'm just wondering if it isn't in the cards for me to ever see well again. I've never worn glasses and these are driving me totally crazy. Of course, my husband put on his and was fine. Ugh.

Aunt Snow! Sending you good thoughts. You need the rain but good lord, not another shit geyser!

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia from Idiot's Kitchen

I can't believe I hadn't checked out Dames of the Northwest before. What an insanely cool project.

I have been busy fighting idiocy and injustice during #NEDAW. Oy, have I gotten an education. There is work to be done.

It feels good to have a project doesn't it?

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenn @ Juggling Life

It does, Jenn. I am so proud of you and all the work you have put in to SAVING A LIFE and spreading awareness of ED!

February 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

I do not understand the cat shirt, but I feel that if I stare at it long enough, I will be hypnotized into doing something evil.

Speaking of evil, I LOVE True Detective. I have probably watched every episode multiple times, because Cohles' monologues are so compelling and I hear something new every time. I am so much more impressed with both Harrelson and McConaughey than I have ever been. It's so nice to see them play with depth.

The Dames project is really heartwarming, and I thank you for elevating these women's stories. Do you have a sense of how many of them follow up on what you have posted?

March 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisse

I'm not sure, Lisse, but I don't think very many, because, surprisingly, only a handful have asked for the URL. I'm going to get little Dame/URL cards made when I feel like I've made some significant improvement, and maybe more of them will follow up.

March 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

I'll have to skip the book club this month. There are so many people ahead of me in line on the library hold list. :(

March 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPatience

I am loving the Dames project, which I am catching briefly. I was tAlked into going back on the Board of the local potters association. Talk about a time suck, and herding wet cats! So great to come over here for a break!

March 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

It took so long for me to type in my "author" info on my tiny phone. I forgot what I wanted to say! Ugh.

My father died in January. My mother-in-law had a stroke 10 days ago. We have her cat now. My husband is snoring. I can't sleep.

Mrs G! Heather! Get those cards printed up RIGHT NOW and hand them out with every picture.

I am adoring the Dames series, that cat shirt is HIDEOUS, and I love your glasses.

March 4, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterauntjone

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