Full Confessional Friday! 2/21/2014

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.  



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I love that picture!

February 20, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteramy

I had my annual review today. For the first time in my working life, I was marked as "needs improvement". The category? Teamwork. This is a year when I've received actual "love letters" from co-workers, when I have maintained relationships and friendships with team members who my boss has consistently offended, and when I have received a peer initiated nomination for a leadership award--based mostly on teamwork. The reason for the rating? Because I've brought concerns to his attention, leading him to conclude I don't fully support management's (his) decisions. At the same time, he encourages me to bring my frustrations to him so we can have frank and open discussions about them. Right. He has made it clear through his actions (as opposed to his words) that the only thing that matters is my willingness to kiss his ass.

This workplace has been consistently ranked on best-places-to-work listings. I never thought it would come to this.

At age 50+, what am I supposed to do now?

February 20, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKristy

It is early morning and 42 degrees outside...maybe not thrilling if you are in the south BUT OH BOY I love it here in the north!
The wife has a birthday next week. I am one of those guys thrilled by the older woman, and she is much older than me AND OH golly a gem, and her health and the rest even more youthful than ever, lucky us!
Anyway, she is telling me idly about the purple purse and scarf with cats on it for sale at the boutique and how she will go over and plunk down the money for it at lunch today and I am thinking to self "BWAHAHA won't she be disappointed when she gets to the boutique and they are GONE!". Of course, next week, when the birthday elf (me) puts them under the birthday tree I think she will be happy...
Have an awesome weekend all!

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergary Rith

Gary, you are just too sweet! And fun! I'm so glad you are a Derf. Wish your hot little mama happy birthday from the Manor.

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

Thanks, although I am thinking maybe better to save the purple purse to make a CLEVER EASTER basket...whenever the hell spring sproings....anyway, I am trying to think of useful pranks to play on Mr. Teamwork up there, Kristy's boss: you got your dead fish or rat in his office heat duct late Friday afternoon, maybe get a 9.99 cellphone with no contract or name needed and a few prank phone calls to his home at, say, 2am more or less every day for a week, or simply a special delivery chocolate box filled with dog poo left on his doorstep on his birthday? Any other STICKITTOTHEBOSS ideas Derfs?

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergary Rith

Kristy, I feel for you! I found myself in a similar situation two years ago where I was blindsided by a less than stellar review, which I had always had throughout my career and from this same manager. With hindsight I figured out that she needed a place to put the blame for something happening within the department. But oh the humiliation and confusion and pain - it's raw and it's terrible.

Be very good to yourself, surround yourself with the people who love and support you, read those "love letters" over and over again and know the truth about yourself. Then do whatever you have to do to ride out this time. You will get through it!

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBritta

Gary, you are supposed to light that box of poo just before ringing the doorbell and running.

Kristy, sounds like you intimidate the jerk. He'll move on - help him get promoted away. Sorry you must deal with him.

It's beautiful here, tho' only 57ยบ today. Rain and wind shook everything last night but it's all sparkly today. Tonight, a Masters show of a friend and tomorrow, the 'Tit Rex parade. Maybe on that second. There are too many parades tomorrow night, and those tonight will make it difficult to get to the exhibit, but we'll push through. OH! The problems of Carnival season. Ya'll get down here - we'll have fun.

Just now though, I want hellebores. Overall, life is pretty okay. Hope everybody has a peaceful and loving weekend (maybe just a few throws - they can be of the purple purse persuasion too).

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenternaomi d

The weather is lovely. The sun is shining and birds getting all ....antsy. And the plumber is coming in a few minutes to fix my busted spigot that leaked in the wall and caused so many problems. So life is pretty good even with the bumps and so forth.

I had bloodwork done today to check for thyroid problems. I half hope it comes back positive since there is easy simple solutions for correcting thyroid issues. I am so tired, going to take a quick nap before plumber shows.

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermolly

Kristy, I feel for you. Do your performance evals include goals for the next review period? If so, be sure you rock them all, and document it. And document, document, document.

Happy birthday to Gary's missus!!

Naomi, I want hellebores too. This drought out here has played havoc with spring flowers. My narcissus,which usually bloom in January, aren't even up this year.

It's my Friday off and I'm planning an adventure!

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

I went into work today in order to finally complete a task that has been hanging over my head... only to discover that it was due by last night. Since it is an online form, I am not even able to insert the missing information (past due date means no submissions accepted). It's not the end of the world (and really, who ultimately cares about those statistics?) but I feel guilty for not completing it on time. I should probably feel worse... but I don't.

Tomorrow (Feb. 22) is National Margarita Day. Anyone need a date?

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)


I. am going to medical school!
"But, you've just finished massage school in August!"
I know! I loved the science SO MUCH. And now, I finally realized that I have underestimated my smarts FOR EVER. I happened to be besties (in high school) with someone who easily scored perfectly on her ACT and SAT tests, one girl who went on to be a well-known cardiothoracic surgeon, an done who became a supreme court judge. I just assumed that, since I didn't take calculus with them, that I was the dummy of the group.
For some reason, I woke up recently and said, "DUH! I AM SMART! I can DO THIS!"
And I have a friend who is 53 who is just starting her residency (has already done med school this last few years). And she's just a normal human, not a SuperGenius (tm).
And I'm going to start on my pre-med courses this summer. I KNOW it will take a long fucking time, but as my mom told me yesterday, "In 10 years, it's going to be 10 years later, no matter what you do. How do YOU want to fill your next 10 years??"
SO, GODDAMMIT, I"M GONNA BE A DOCTOR. A DOCTOR OF OSTEOPATHY (which is basically like an MD, but with more hands-on stuff like massage and spinal manipulation).
I am so excited. It feels like the Universe is throwing this at me with both hands.


February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

It's my birthday on Sunday and I'm a tiny bit freaked. Not because I'll be 62 - I've made my peace with that and I'm fine with being older. For one thing, I don't even have to TRY to be cool because everyone knows I'm not! I can wear funky, out of date clothes and walk around the grocery store muttering to myself without anyone making remarks. No, what keeps taking me back is realizing that I, and my cousins, are now The Oldies. That the generation before us are all now gone. No sympathy needed, it's been awhile - but it's just So. Strange.

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBriget

Oh, Kate! YAY! I am so pleased for/with you. Congratulations!

And Briget? My cousin and I used our 60ish milestones to declare ourselves the family historians. No one left to contradict us! (Was that too crass?)

Kristy - I, as so many others, also worked for this kind of "special". In our case, he finally got called before the superiors at the district level. Seems he had bad-mouthed so many of us that they finally called him in to verify all our inadequacies. And he defended himself, right up until they told him he must be a truly awful kind of supervisor, if he trained us all and we all ended up being inadequate. Kinda' felt good that they finally saw through him, although it did cost some promotions along the way. Now I see him walking the local mall with his walker, pulling his oxygen and when I don't manage to avoid him, it turns out he remembers me as a bff. Truly bizarre.

Happy week-end all! Enjoy the warmth in the areas where it is - for some of us, better outdoor temps, for others, find the warmth inside yourselves. It's there.

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranother sue

I just need to vent some steam at my credit card company. I've been TRYING to pay them, I WANT them to have their money, I always send it early, and they have been f*cking things up at EVERY SINGLE TURN. Last one was a payment by phone where the idiot(*) on the other end fumble fingered my account number even after I gave it to him twice and he read it back to me, so now I have to wait for that payment to bounce and all the fees to be assessed before I can call AGAIN and have them reversed. This is why I still pay by check.

(*)Please note that I am calling this person a idiot because of his actions, not his job. Customer Service is a hard job (I've done it), and most of the reps I deal with are helpful and skilled and I am pleased to do their surveys to tell their supervisors they did a good job. This guy.....was the exception.

So now I have to wait until Monday until I can start unraveling this mess again, and all I want is for it to be over, all fees reversed, and to make sure nothing's on my credit record because I didn't do anything or miss any deadlines.

Yeah, it's a small rock in my shoe, but gads, those things get annoying fast.

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTC

Kate in MI, I *love* osteopaths! They make the best doctors!

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

Happy weekend.

Kristy ~ stay even keeled and definitely try some of Gary's ideas. (grin) At least in your mind.

Gary ~ Is your lovely's birthday on Monday? I come from a school of pisces...but my son and I share the 24th and we love finding others who share our day. (we also have the 22nd, 25th, and 28th covered in February)

Briget ~ I'm glad that I'm getting closer to 62 because I already walk around muttering to myself in the store! Happy Birthday!

Kate in Michigan ~ Do the DO!!! You have a whole cheerleading section here...

So, after six long, miserable weeks they finally fixed the heat in our building at work - we've been suffering with heat above 84 degrees and having to have all the windows open 24/7 (including during 3 snowstorms) in order to make it even slightly tolerable; while we waited for the powers that be to figure out how to fix the heating system. Today was a heavenly 72 degrees and no gusts of snow!


February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMainely Alaskan

Small,mocha. In my in my shoe my soppe e

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Other Kay

the other kay:
Are you ok? That was kind of ... weird.

February 21, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

Kate, WOW!!! You go!

I have had a really interesting time. I shouted to my facebook peeps that my ex is not a saint. It's weird, because the kids and I have been quietly dealing with his threats and manipulation for ever, and acting like we're normal.

February 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNan

I'm fine,got hacked by a kid. Though not sure what the kid was trying to say!

February 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterThe Other Kay

Go Kate!
Kristie, try the Montrachet "someday he'll get his, someday he'll get his". Men like this usually do. But I agree with Sunt Snow CYA is what you need to start doing. Document every thing, including what he told you in your review. And if he didn't give you specific things to work on, ask for them. Because without suggestions for improvement he's just a bully.

February 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlbug

Well, my typing wasn't so wonderful in my last post. Montrachet should have been mantra and Sunt should have been Aunt, but I think you got the idea.
I'm back to add a confession of sorts. I had a volunteer project for my library that I was supposed to finish last month. I didn't get it done. I've put off telling the library employee I work with because I feel awful about it. I have good reasons why I didn't get it completed, but I really am a good deadline sort of person and feel I let her down. Anyway, I emailed the employee yesterday, told her the problem, apologized and asked for her understanding. I expected her to be angry with me. (She had every right to be) But you know what she said. "It's okay, we can do it next Fall. I love working with you and I understand you have had a difficult time this winter. Take care and enjoy the Sunshine State." I was so touched. She's up in the cold Midwest winter doing her job and she gave me a pass and wished me well. People surprise me sometimes, they really do.

February 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlbug

Kate in MI -- WOOHOO! You're going to be the best osteopath EvER! Just wish you were closer to here.
am still waiting to hear back from my grad school application. Cross your fingers for me.

February 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterilyanna

I'll do ya one better. I'll cross my boobs.
(the advantages of being over 40!)

February 23, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

Huzzah @ Kate in MI! That is awesome!

February 24, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterauntjone

Kate, now you are a doctor I wouldn't dread seeing!

Fingers crossed, Ilyana.

Happy Birthday to Brigit and Mrs. Tasty Cakes!

Bosses and thyroids...both pains.

Back tomorrow with some kind of post.

February 24, 2014 | Registered CommenterMrs. G.

I'm so many days late and a pain in my head is stabbing me but KATE in MI, go for it.

And Kristy, I was once the most awesome employee ever and yet the boss always had to find some minuses on my review because he had to have something with room for improvement. So when I formulated a plan with the liaison in another department for when she was going to have gallbladder surgery, I was chastised for not talking to him first. Even though he would have told me to do exactly what I did and would have chastised me for not being proactive and doing it before he asked. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Well, in the time it took me to compose the above, the pain is gone. So that's a good thing!

Oh I have more but I can wait for next week.

February 24, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSmalltown Me

Kate in MI - I am in awe. Congratulations!

February 25, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisse

Kate, your revelation and determination are awe-inspiring!

February 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersusan

Thanks, Derfs.
Several folks in my close family think I'm nuts (they're not saying so in so many words, but it's pretty clear), because I'm set now. I have 2 careers (music and massage) and my time is my own. HOWEVER, ... it's MY LIFE. I want to fill it ALL THE WAY UP.
So there. Smiley emoticon.

February 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

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