the answer would be a gentle no, because mrs. g. does understand his appeal

Mrs. G. received four emails (Portland, Tulsa, Charlottesville and Knoxville) from Derfs over the weekend letting her know that they had made Mr. G's pasta sauce and it was indeed as delicious as she said. One sweetheart sent a photo of her bubbling sauce right after, as she said, the "chicken livers had landed." Mr. G. was flattered.

But Mrs. G. received a fifth email today that we are going to have to discuss because, well, because Mrs. G. thinks you will understand why.

Dear Mrs. G,

I just wanted to let you know how lucky you are to have a husband like Mr. G! I made his sauce on Saturday night and it was so good that I can't help but throw out the following proposal. You have mentioned that Mr. G. hasn't cleaned a bathroom in decades and doesn't really do household chores of any kind. I love cleaning bathrooms and I would be willing to assume all household chores if he would cook for me nightly. I know this would mean he has to move to the Northeast, but do you think you could spare him for this fellow Derf? Maybe even just every month? My love for Mr. G. is purely platonic and culinary inspired as I am in a a very serious imaginary relationship with Damian Lewis.

I look foward to hearing from you :) :) :)



Dear V,

I appreciate your straight-forward, forthright approach to possibly acquiring my husband. I'm going to have to decline your offer because I really like him, and, damn woman, I gave you the coveted recipe. Have Damian Lewis make it for you. I kid, because I think you are sweet even though you want to exploit my man in the kitchen. I'm not going to share this exchange with him because, though he loves me, the allure of no chores might cause him to slip out in the night with his chicken livers and never look back. Like I'm going to let that happen -- just to be safe I have tied a bell to our bedroom doorknob in case he gets any ideas. 

All My Best-ish,

Mrs. G.

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Reader Comments (17)

Mrs. G--

Have you never heard of counter-offers? I would have instead offered V the opportunity to fly to your house for a month, do all the household chores there, and have Mr. G cook for both of you every night.

You need to spend more time watching Pawn Stars.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKristy

oh that's funny, well asked, well played ... alas I didn't get the tomato sauce yet so it will have to wait for next weekend here. made some mean bbq meatballs tonight though.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbethany

Well done.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermeredith@whynotpottery

Ha, Kristy!

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngie McCullagh

Kristy is on to something.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermolly

A beautiful, gracious response.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKellyPA

Hey V,

You can have my husband every month - he doesn't do chores OR cook. He will, however, fix your car or your toilet if need be, and since he's french canadian will charm you at the same time...

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Kristy is on to something there, Mrs. G.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersuburbancorrespondent

Mrs. G., this made me laugh out loud: " the allure of no chores might cause him to slip out in the night with his chicken livers and never look back."

Kristy had a brilliant idea. Get one of those tiny house plans built and you've got a paying list of guests!

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

You ladies are so clever and funny!!!! Oh, and, you tramps are OK too!

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

A better counter-offer: V can pay for a cleaning service weekly for the Gs , & Mr G can share other great recipes.

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda J

Can I just say I covet that shower? Even knowing I'd have to clean it?

February 10, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTC


February 10, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteredj

Never mind the husband. I want that shower!

February 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisse

No kidding. I might not even need a man if I had that shower.

February 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Great idea Kristy! I haven't gotten to the sauce yet either, but it is right up there on my list.

February 11, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennie

Mrs. G, please have Mr. G look at my comment onthe recipe. I have a question, and I don't want it to languish there, unnoticed.

February 11, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

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