Friday
Nov152013

A Quick Response and Full Confessional Friday

Every September since I started this blog six years ago, I unfortunately fall into hole, a pit that diminishes my joy of just about everything (like this blog and my laptop and ______ (you name it) and compels me to pull away from my regular life in order to spare those around me from being burdened with my downer mentality. My instinct is to keep it to myself and just knuckle through, knowing it will eventually end. This is not the first time I have taken a break and while I wish it was the last, I can't be assure you of this. Despite frustrating adjustments in medication and increased counseling, frankly, it is what it is. I also feel the need to point out that I am certainly not the only blogger who has done this. For what ever reason, it has always felt cheesy to post that I'm not going to post. Plus, this whole experience is embarrassing. For any of you who have experienced this emotional dip, I'm sure you can attest that everything regarding who you are and what you  normally accomplish feels like just too much. To those of you who have felt the need to bluntly share it in the comments section or personal email that you are "done" with this blog, I have tried to express myself in a much more eloquent and kind way, but I find it impossible to to do so. In other words: knock yourself out. If after years of sharing my scatterbrained life and hundreds of carefully crafted stories you feel the need to quit reading and let me know rather than naturally fade away, Godspeed. I have tried to regularly updated Full Confessional Friday so that this community can continue to thrive even when I'm unable to write anything of worth.

And with that, let's get to our regularly scheduled programming.

Crispy Leaves

Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.  

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Reader Comments (88)

Take care of you; we're patient people.

I appreciate your support and loyalty, Marty!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermarty

Heather, I'm in it for the long haul. I miss you when you're gone because I sense what you're going through and wish I could help make it better. I appreciate your writing, wit and candor. Kudos.

Love to you, Les. I think those peach donuts would help lift my mood--you lucky woman. I guess I assumed that most readers would recognize my fall disappearance but clearly I was wrong. Thank you for thinking of me. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenter1Les

Go get 'em, honey! I for one appreciate that every minutia of your life is not put forth for all to revel in. Take the time to huddle in a corner with a good blanket, pillow, book, (hopefully that corner has a comfy bed in it too) while occasional hugs and pats on the head soothe you back into socializing. Me, I moved to another state to avoid such.

Thank you for understanding, Naomi, that not everything in my life is worthy of sharing. As I've said several times before. I think I pull back because 1) I can't help it and 2)It's embarrassing. Hi to Louie!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternaomi d

Haters to the left, Mrs. G! Take care of yourself. We're not going anywhere and a lot of us understand what you're talking about/dealing with. <3

I don't want to label these folks as haters (like some of the idiots who have left cruel comments). I think mainly they wanted to let me know that I wasn't giving me what they expected and enjoy a passive aggressive opportunity to say you're wonderful and My best to you and yours and you used to be so consistent BUT I'm out of here. I say passive aggressive because the compliments are backhanded and, again, they could have just silently moved on. Thanks for expressing your ability to understand where I have been emotionally. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

It's just one of the things that make you....you.

I have recently cut off most of my hair.....and it's AWESOME. I guess Pixie Cuts are coming back, which crack me up due to that being THE haircut for most of my childhood. I think I look great, therefore....I DO. Just trying to make sure to slap on some makeup so I don't look too much like my brother.

Life is good my friends.

Trudy, I am glad you love your pixie cut! As you know, I take hair very seriously and I would love to see a picture. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

I feel ya lovie. Here in the sunshine state (or, is that Florida?, whelp, I'm in CA) there can still be this type of seasonal thing going on. The getting dark earlier is always my cue to pull further into myself. Self preservation and all that. I've not taken any meds, nor therapy of any sort, but I know a lot of people do. Being an introvert, I just accept that this is who I am, and how it will be. Getting older has really caused me to take inventory as to how far I want to take the being alone (and some might say isolation) and being comfortable with all that. Empty nesting (of sorts, still see the oldest 5 days per week as he comes to the house to carpool w/ the husband to work every day) and the youngest will obviously boomerang back and forth from his college (only an hour away) to attend to his ongoing consequences of his motorcycle crash from last June and breaks in school, so I can't honestly say I have a big "WHEW" the kid thing is done type of life....but it's sort of a half baked one I can tolerate much better than the daily stressed out living that was my life when the youngest still lived here at home while going to community college...I'll take it and be thankful. I envision myself as a big mamabear....don't bother me or I'll bite yer head off! type of person now. We can talk (not you dear lady) next spring. (everyone else lol)

Julie, it's encouraging that you have come to love your empty nest life. I'm not there quite yet, but I think once I see my son at Christmas, I will be able to put some of my worry away. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Hells, yes, girl! No complaints here - you do as you feel with this blog, it's your blog!

Now - I have to say in a funny way, I feel like your dips help motivate me to keep blogging, though I often feel like I'm going through a dry stretch. Like now. But in my case, I have an 87 year old lady )mom!) who expects to open her Ipad each morning and find something new, so I try not to disappoint her. That's an obligation of my own choosing - I'm not saying it's anything special.

Why do your dry spells help me temper mine? I don't know; it's helpful not to feel I'm the only one grasping. When you're on, you're the best, so why should anyone complain?

And my confession is that I'm stale, and bored, and tired of watching the hours and days pass in my crappy little office at the dull and trivial job that I'm very grateful to have. I've had one friend counsel me, well, if you're bored and you don't have anything to do, use that time for writing. Better said than done; it's technically unethical and maybe that makes it not very conducive. But, in the meantime, when my job is all about answering phone calls and email, when the phone doesn't ring and the In-box is empty, what else am I supposed to do? I read a couple chapters of a book yesterday, surfed the net. My boss came in when I was watching a video - but HAH! the video actually had something to do with work, so I was safe!

Do as it feels right, Mrs. G. I'm just so glad you brought us together in a safe place for this community to connect. You aren't obliged to be the ringmaster (ringmistress?) of this little circus all the time.

Aunt Snow, I always appreciate your kind, supportive words. I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy and bored with your newish job. You are so talented and have such life experience, I am waiting for the day you make a MAJOR Change, which, of course, is scary. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

six years ... SIX YEARS. . ? !!!?!!!!!!!
i remember when the colony was just a twinkle in your eye..... my, how time has flown. .... i think we might need a mancake tab... it could be the magic antidote to sad-september...
september is spring here. .. it's when all of my stars seem to re-align.. perhaps the real antidote is a ticket to hobbit-ville? ?!!!
love + peace x

Yep, six years. It's hard for me to believe too. Hope you are well and what I would give to travel to my number one dream destination! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkatekiwi

Wow, people are cruel. Those meanies have obviously never been depressed. All of July, August and Sept were impossibly hard for me this year. I get it. And I will wait.

I'm glad you have pulled up from the miserable nosedive. Thanks for waiting. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

Thanks guys. The good news is that I am emerging and finally feeling human. I was just bummed this morning when I read comments and opened my email...and then ticked, thus my response.

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Every time you take a hiatus, you come back stronger and funnier. I'll gladly wait for that.

Thanks, Lisa. I feel the same way. Being dormant sparks me when I finally "come back." Thanks for the reminder! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa Paul

Nothing much to confess.
But a whole bag of goodness straight from the heart.
I heart you.
M

I heart you too, Meredith. I was just telling a friend that Seagrove was one of my favorite places I visited on my trip! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermeredith@whynotpottery

Good grief! I can't believe that people harass you about not writing. Your writing is a very generous gift to your readers, not an obligation to us.
Take care and ignore the %^&* who write crummy stuff.

Thanks Knittergran!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterknittergran

I do not think you have an obligation to be ringmaster or on a posting schedule. I am not saying we don't worry a little, but that is a product of the nature of blogging, where people feel like an onsite neighbor or friend when it is distant relationship in reality. With enough time and desire to connect to each other we finally figured out to use the Derf Assist List to facilitate Confession amongst ourselves. So with enough motivation we will figure out how to stay connected.

My confession. I had just been lecturing my husband about money woes, we need to stop spending, blah blah, etc. Then I am on etsy looking for a gift for my mom, and I come across something I just have to have. It is a green glass vintage stack-able tree candy dish. Each layer is the lid for the lower layer. In green glass which I covet. My beloved Nana had one when I was a kid, and every xmas it was filled with old fashioned Christmas candy (or was it just Christmas hard candy then?). I loved her, I loved her house at Christmas, and I just warm fuzzy feelings thinking about her and the little things she did. I have been looking for the same kind of glass tree and the candy for a couple of years. SO. Miss Hypocrite here spent 25 on the dish, 13 on shipping, and 25 on candy to re-enact a childhood scene that probably no one will care about. Oooops. But I will seriously be filled with glee when I get a filled raspberry candy out of that thing in December.

Happy Friday to all you wonderful ladies and Gary.

As always, Molly, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. I understand the need to recreate traditions from the past. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermolly

Well, I hear you. I know a few people who have trouble with the switch to cold weather and grey skies. Never felt too much about it, but these last few years have been rough. Impending holidays something to do with it, maybe? I don't know. Yesterday I could not turn off the tear faucets. I think this time of year is reflective and emotional and all that heavy. Whatever! Here we are! I will be visiting the Manor forever. Take your time! Love to all the Derfs!

"I think this time of year is reflective and emotional and all that heavy." I think this is true for so many of us, Gina. Maybe keep the waterworks running until they naturally end. I hope you and your family are great (Your girls have grown up so much since the short time I was at your house). Hugs! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergina

I am only just learning the value of self care, but I honor it whenever I see it. Glad you're taking care of yourself.
October was a beast; I woke up Nov 1st singing because it was over. I still have a stack of shit to do, but I'm making my way through it much more happily.
My confession? I've been through nearly a year of personal and marriage counseling. I am almost sane again. My marriage? Not sure. After all the work I've done the spotlight is turning on my husband. He's committed, because it's necessary for our marriage to survive, but he's going to fight it every step of the way. I have to admit to really enjoying watching him squirm. A little bit of schadenfreude, perhaps? I've cried gallons -- counseling is fucking HARD -- and I'm glad to see him putting in some blood sweat and tears.

Self care is not selfish. I am glad you are making an effort to be kind yourself. I'm sorry your marriage is a challenge and I understand you feelings about it. Hang tough! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterilyanna

After going through two years of hell where I didn't even feel like showering, I feel your pain! Everyday life now is a joy that I don't feel the weight of that depression! Of course it's disappointing for us when you haven't posted, we love you and worry about you! But now it's time to celebrate and give thanks - Mrs. G is starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel! There's a fire lit at the Manor! Sorry for all the exclamation points! It's Friday! Hope you have a good weekend.

I am sorry to create worry. I really will make an attempt to let everyone know when I have to take a break. I am having a good weekend and the relief that I am coming back to my normal self is such a relief. I am so grateful!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie

Well, here's my thought on people getting annoyed: they can pay HALF of the admission fee here, instead of FULL PRICE.
Heh.

And I'm fizzing myself into a dizzyfying mountaintop of "too muuuuch to doooo!" and I need maybe a doctor's prescription or something to just stop it. Concerts and dance shows and friends and and and and. I almost can feel my skin prickling with static and buzzingness.

BUT. I'm writing on my blog again. Want to read it?
--
http://someofthismaybetrue.blogspot.com/

I'm glad you are blogging again and I will head over. You have so much on your plate. I hope you are taking some time for self care even if it is a hot bath with bubble bath and candle. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

I envy the extra time and energy that some people apparently have to spend on things like writing nastygrams to bloggers. I wish I had spare resources that I could throw away on stupidity like that. (Honestly, I hope they are "done" and go bother someone else. Mrs. G, you don't need any more crap. None of us do.)

I've been reading stuff online, but not commenting/posting because for me, it's mostly been same ol', same ol'. With two exceptions.

First, I had to do another financial summary/projection for my father's financial guy to make sure we've got his finances set up to cover his needs. The last time I did this formally was about 10 months ago, it took me a couple of days, and it was an unholy mess. This time, it took about a hour max (not counting the one number from my sister that came in late, but that's another story) and was less than half the size of the previous spreadsheet.

I looked at it and realized that although it FEELS like I haven't done anything, that there are still mountains of his financial things that need simplification/shutting down, in reality I have accomplished a great deal. It was a knock upside the head in a good way, a chance to say "wow, I really HAVE been busy and I have made things a lot bettter." I needed that.

The other thing is that we adopted another cat. It had been enough time since we lost our last one that we'd started looking around, and yesterday an almost perfect cat just kind of dropped into our laps. To be honest, the timing stinks, but sometimes you just say the hell with it and make it work. We're doing the slow introduction thing with our two older boy cats and know there will be much tussling and cat noise as they figure out their relationships (this isn't our first time adding a new cat to the existing tribe), but I realized as we were filling out the adoption papers that this was an important step in getting on with our lives in the middle of everything else.

And she's so affectionate and cute :).

Woman, you are do for a long tropical vacation. I am so happy that you said to hell with it and adopted the perfect cat. Cuddling and beautiful eyes can help ease the stress, huh. I hope things turn around (especially the worrying and paperwork) soon! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTC

Take your time. I experience seasonal lows as well and can't imagine feeling obligated to keep it together for anyone other than my husband and kids. And that doesn't mean that I successfully keep it together for them either, just that I feel like I should and try my damnedest to.

My confession- I gave myself a concussion in a stupid incident last Wed. Today, after over a week of brain scramble, I'm finally feeling truly human again and instead of taking advantage of that and getting stuff done around the house and spending time with my kids, I'm on the internet. I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything else. I'm even still in my pajamas and it's almost 11am.

Oh how I can relate to what you are going through, Heather. I had to put a list on my bathroom mirror to help my brain comprehend what I needed to do each morning and evening. If you haven't gone through a clinical (rather than situational depression, though I'm not minimizing that experience, it's difficult to understand how debilitating it can be. I am glad you are starting to feel human. I am as well. I can't remember if I mentioned this above but yesterday I got together with two friends and then ran necessary errands. Today I am cleaning house, vacuuming the dust bunnies that have accumulated AND mopping. I hope you continue to improve. The fact that Mr.G. is unbelievably supportive is partly what keeps me going. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather in Oregon

Sometimes we have "blog friends" that dump you when the chips are down. The people that keep coming here, no matter your mood, or how long you take a break, are the people that would be your friends in "real life". Who needs the other kind?

A lot of people are doing the November blog and facebook think of naming something every day that they are thankful for.
I have been pleased that my friends have spent 2 weeks being thankful for PEOPLE and not THINGS.

I have been emotionally struggling for a year now. Too many relatives with breast cancer and my Mom is at the age where she is losing a family friend almost every week. I am in pain but have been referred to a WONDERFUL, kind spine specialist who has a plan.

I like coming here on Fridays because you find out that you are not the only one with tough stuff and everybody tries to lift each other up.
Candles lit for everyone struggling and hugs to all that are coping and helping.

I couldn't agree with you more, LMS I hope that people who have let me know they are moving on are more compassionate to friends who are having a hard time. I have to point out that the comments (the most insulting I deleted) left are nothing compared to some of the emails. Some people suggested I flippantly disappeared and I can only assure everyone that I abandoned my laptop because I didn't want to write AGAIN about by struggle. And even though it's not my fault that I dip, it is embarrassing because I have so much to be grateful for. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Miss Sunshine State

After seeing your post, I feel obligated to let you know I am not one who just quietly faded away, I've just been tending to my own needs. I will be a cheerleader for you, even if you never write another word. Your writing has given me so much through the years, I can't imagine thinking you owed me more. I wish you well always, Heather.

What kind words you have shared with me, cardinal. I do feel like I owe readers (and myself) good writing because, believe it or not, I get more out of this blog than anyone else!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercardinal

You always wonder if people would act like that if they were sitting in your kitchen having a coffee? Sort of like sipppp "wow, Mrs G, how come you don't invite me over every day, wtf is wrong with you?". But blogging is the same, and its not like you owe anybody anything.
So, like, fuch the haters!
My confession?
OOOhhhh, this is SO bad: I was up very early working and finished all my jobs and items on the list (even made minestrone and bread for dinner!) and ...well, the sun was shining on the couch and the cat and dog were already sleeping there and I, well, let's just say that I canNOT account for an hour of my day :)

There is no crime in taking a nap with Spike, Penny and a slice of sunshine! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGary Rith

Hugs to all. I feel like I know so many of you and you would "get" me in real life. Every time I see Naomi D's posts I think of the times I went to New Orleans to help rebuild after Katrina and how I hope to have a chance to go back sometime. When Aunt Snow confessess about her job, I feel like she's my slightly older, wiser self showing me the way in our similar job situations. I feel like I understand ilyanna because I've been there, too. And molly - you're not the only one re-creating childhood memories through internet purchases! Of course I'll alway have fond memories of those I've met IRL during Mrs. G's epic road trip, too. Love this space and all who are here.

Annie,I could use one of your tomato sandwiches. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenter~annie

People who throw tantrums when they don't get what they think they are owed--be it a promotion or dinner or an easy life or a blog post from Mrs. G-- drive me crazy. I've enjoyed your blog for years and I'll continue to read no matter how often you feel or don't feel like posting.

Thanks, Jenny. I appreciate your support!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenny in nc

I am glad to hear that things are getting better. I know in a small way how you are feeling. I feel special that you wished me a happy birthday on Facebook! Girlfriends are wonderful things. My birthday get-away weekend exceeded all my expectations. Getting to spend 3 days with all my friends and my sister was wonderfully relaxing and renewing. I recommend hanging with girlfriends to all the Derfs. :)

Your birthday looked like a blast. We are due for a cat-off soon. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteralison

Hang in there, Heather. Ignore (if you can) the idiots. There are so many times that I am grateful for friendships I have made here. Thank you for that. If you need some sun, you're always welcome in my neck of the woods. It's a long trip but the sun, it shines. Take care of yourself!

Thanks Claudia!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

Confession of the week: I am sick of hearing people who are broke describe themselves as "poor." There's a big difference. I don't dare say this to anyone in real life because I'm feeling petulant and know that poverty is always relative. There is always someone who is worse off.

Money talks but all it says is "goodbye." Or "I'm going out for a pint of milk" and never comes back. :)

Not Beehive, I know what you mean. It's insulting to those people who are working three jobs with no insurance,experiencing food insecurity, one paycheck away from homelessness...do you know that one in six children in this county don't have food that is not provided by school breakfasts and and lunches. And food stamps are being significantly cut for the working poor. There is a huge difference from tight financial times and poor! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNot Beehive

I went through a major dip this summer, and I basically stopped doing anything and everything that I normally do. It was pretty awful but fortunately it went away in mid Sept.

I'm glad it ended for you in mid-September. Yes, it is miserable. Continued happy days for you, Susan. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan:)

I'm wondering if some of the people who get miffed when you take time off are missing their daily "Fix", and counting on you to provide it for them. .. they are gazing through your (usually) open windows and have anxiety attacks when your blinds are drawn for a while. Maybe they haven't found any other outside interests during that interim. Sure, people wonder what's up, but maybe some don't really get it that they can do other things with their lives than sitting and fuming, waiting for you to provide their entertainment. Kinda sad.

I think people sometimes forget that I am capable of experiencing rough times...pretty much every fall since I started this blog and not just abandoning the blog for insignificant reasons. One person made reference to me pulling out of the blog twice before. While this is true, the last time I did was three years ago and it was during a similar rough patch. .MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBj

Seriously? Because you OWE us all regular blog posts? ::::shaking head in mystification:::: Welcome back Heather! We miss you when you're gone, but I am hardly in any position to cast the first stone. I go months on end neglecting my blog, and as a result have hardly any readers left. (Although I am about to blog my trip to North Africa...how's this for shameless self-promotion? ;)

Looking forward to whatever and whenever you post, love.

I miss everyone when I'm not blogging too, but nothing can get me off the couch with the dogs and Law & Order reruns, though I have to say after this round, I will NEVER watch that show again. Just the music alone grates on my nerves. I can't wait to read about your current adventures. I have spent hours on your blog, so interested in your nontraditional life which includes such interesting stories and friends.MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteredj

Glad to hear you are on the up Mrs G, good mental health requires as much time and maintenance as physical. How come no-one has ever invented the brain space gym? Imagine all those people who would pay big money for a membership in the New Year after dealing with the hoohah of the festive season. There you are Derf entrepreneurs, I gift you that little business plan; have at it.

So in the last few weeks we have had a whole mountain range of emotion going on. My girl had a brilliant time on Scout International Jamboree Selection Camp only to find out that she didn't make the cut. This was disappointing but liveable until I found out that the fecking evil witch child (against whom I had been mentally campaigning since it was announced) was one of four chosen from our group of 12. That was about four weeks ago and I am STILL spitting feathers. The selectors obviously had a type in mind bc three of the plasticyest, non-Scouty Scouts were picked. I wish the nice boy going lots of good and well and lovely things. I hope the nasty two get scabies. I don't really care about the fourth.

We were inundated by a selection of Belgian children over the halfterm holiday. I was backed into the polite person's corner when I was asked to play host to them by their mother but it all turned out well and all six kids had a fab time. TG their English was fluent bc our Flemish is shite!

CK bought a new (to us) car last week, only two years old. As he headed out for his first big drive in it I heard a thud. He managed to crash the wing mirror into the gate post and leave the glass hanging by its mechanical threads. There might have been swearing involved. I hid. He came in last night and said he wasn't getting the mirror fixed just yet, he had done the same thing again that morning. Oh how we laughed.

Our biggest news and the saddest is that we had to say goodbye to our big black dog three weeks ago. His back leg just decided to work no more and it would have been cruel to make him go on. I held his head in my hands while the medicine worked and we gazed at each other all the way to the end. It was the least I could do.

Trash, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter--and the pain of seeing someone less worthy triumph. We've been through that as my kids were growing up. Having lost two driver side mirrors--once my fault and once the fault of he won't be maimed, I understand the swearing.Most of all, I am sorry to hear about your pup. I know from friends who have also lost dogs, it is akin to losing a beloved family member. I am so sorry for you loss. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertrash

I'm glad you're back, Mrs. G! But take a break whenever your heart desires, and take care of you.

No confession, just have to say I love, love, love all the BatKid goodness happening in San Francisco, um, I mean Gotham, today. Restores my faith in humanity.

Thanks, Angi. The good news is I think I'm back. I find myself humming and counting down the days until my daughter comes home for Thanksgiving! Can you explain the Batkid goodness happening in San Francisco? My unplugging also include avoiding the news. I couldn't take listening to the vitriol of politics. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngi

Apparently, entitlement issues run rampant and some people think you owe them your soul. Sheesh.
There have been blogs I have stopped reading because I have a lack of time to devote to the internet, but if I no longer find a blog interesting or fulfilling, I move on without a fuss. I just don't "get it" that some people find a need to track dog poo on your carpet. (Referring to social media abusers, not your precious pups!) I'm sorry you have to deal with crap from strangers. What impossibly petty minds and lives they must have!

Going to Arizona last weekend made me aware how much I've been affected by our recent dark, dreary days. The sun and warmth was a surprise blessing and helped me think positively while there to face not-so-great stuff. Now I'm back to the dark and damp, avoiding the desire to act like a mama bear in oh-so-many ways (including the eating before hibernating).
I suspect it's going to be a hard winter in my little world. We've already got 2 memorial services this week at church.

Karen, I am sorry that you have lost two people at your church. One is difficult to deal with. Like you, I have quit reading certain blogs because they aren't relevant to me (like parenting blogs). I would never comment that I was done with the author. It seems so unkind and, especially, passive aggressive. Just disappear and leave it at that. Someone suggested I get a seasonal light to help with the darkness. Maybe you should consider getting one too. I've heard many who have had success with them. They can be expensive but I think I'm going to buy myself an early Christmas present. I hope you head here soon, so we can visit. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

You and this blog are a gift to us all, and we who recognize and embrace this are immeasurably gratified for the place you have created for us to come together and share. I don't post very often, but I always stop by for the comfort it provides. Blessings to you, and all of us, too!

Thank you, Kaye. You are such a kind,giving woman! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaye

xoxo, whenever you're posting, and whenever you're not. i get it.

I appreciate the support, Bethany. I have no doubt you get it. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbethany

I was reading your column back in the heydays of the Women's Colony and was blogging myself at the time. Then divorce. New career. Raising kids. Kids leaving. Empty nest. I stopped writing completely. And I only got to read a few of yours during that time, but when I was able to, I was so happy to read them. I admired you greatly for having a family that stayed together and got the kids launched and on their way and there you were still making me laugh when I needed it the most!

I'm so glad that you are taking time for you. It's your life and it's your writing and it's your heart and brava for continuing all this time through all these seasons of your life!

The complainers just want you to know they know you already have more talent and dedication than they do and they want you to keep proving to them that someone can do it because they can't. Plain and simple. Always remember the three finger rule....for every finger they point at you, there are three pointing back at them. =)

Love ya girl!
Hugs!
Nicole (formerly from TX, just moved to CA)

Thanks Nicole!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

My best friend died Wednesday. She had an aortic dissection and collapsed at work. I'm still reeling, I can not begin to imagine what her family is going through. There are no guarantees, my virtual friends, I know that is a tired old cliche, but it is so very true. Hug your kids, forgive your spouse for leaving the heat turned up , and live without regrets.

Oh Wendy, I am sending you virtual bear hugs. I am so sorry that you have lost a dear friend. Thank you for the reminder that we should strive to not take each day for granted. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Oh, I know I posted above, but then the rest of the day happened. I had to go rescue an escaped pet and my beau was off with the car over an hour away. It wasn't too far a walk to get her, about eleven or so blocks. The old pupster managed to get to a construction site and was sleeping while workmen walked by and pet her head, concerned about the old dog. She'd found a place just like the place where she'd lived with her master, dead three months now. I realized there was no way that dog was walking home, and a neighbor came and got us. The neighbor who had taken her when her owner went into hospice was at work, and asked me to set up some kind of vet appointment. Sooo, I got in touch with a vet, who was also a good friend of the pupster's owner, and my neighbor to drive us there, but the neighbor can't stay long, 'cause insurance had kicked her dad out of hospice as he was taking too long to die (just like the pupster's owner) and she needed to go phone fight at an appointed time. Another neighbor cancelled his plans to meet me at the vet office. It was we three with the old dog, and then the vet too. She put her hands around the dog's belly and that poor pup yelped and collapsed. I've never seen a dog collapse like that before. An x-ray revealed a tumor the size of a cauliflower. I had to decide to put her down, and we did it. The vet brought her into a small room along with a bowl of just cooked, still warm chicken and we fed it to her, she still greedy for that bird meat. Then she lay down, and the sedative was given, the poison, and she is gone, and I'm tired. I've called everyone and it's as though our friend has died again, or perhaps it's just that one of my mentors, an amazing woman, fierce, also died this week. Yes, no one can die in 2014; only one more to go that I know of this year. Hug your loved ones, remember the feeling, the words, the held hands. Peace, all.

Peace to you, Naomi. I am glad that the pupster was babied and loved before he passed. What a difficult experience. I admire you for your ability to keep on trucking despite the enormous amount of difficulty and loss you have experienced of late. MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenternaomi d

It never ceases to amaze me that these people who are "done with you" feel the need to interact with you, as if you will beg them to stay or some other psycho gymnastics I don't even want to unravel. Don't like it? GO AWAY, and be quick about it. It's THAT simple, keep the nasty where it belongs...at the hater household thank you very much.
That being said , glad to hear you are coming out of "the fog" Mrs.G, it's a process not a snap of the fingers to be sure. Hope things will keep improving and your voice will be heard again whenever YOU are ready. There are many of us who are loyal and patient!

Since I last checked in : buried two wonderful men, my best friends Dad and a beloved cousin. Both were blind sided by serious and terminal conditions. You just never know, life takes us down roads short or long, they will both be missed beyond words. What they each shared with all of us was the very essence of being truly good men and we were most fortunate to know them.

Bramble, I am sorry for the tremendous loss of your father and cousin. Good men are a special gift to the world. I wish you peace during this most difficult time. Like Wendy mentioned, I appreciate the encouragement to wait to let others know you love them and not take life (and the turns it can take) for granted. xoxox MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbramble

My confession -- I've been knitting. Heather, please don't judge and please don't kick me out of the Manor/Colony. I know we made a toast to not crafting when we met for dinner in Bellevue last month, but it's been my coping mechanism lately. It's just so soothing to have something rhythmic to do with my hands, and an audio-book playing in my ears.

Still friends? :)

Britta, still friends for sure. I don't think my dislike of crafting should discourage those who love it. After all, the WC is supposed to inspire joy for ALL...even those of us who do not comprehend the joy of scrapbooking and rug hooking. Knit away, girl! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBritta

Good grief. We all have our good times and bad times. The whole gig here on earth is to be here for each other. Those folks that feel the need to be hurtful can just go suck the air out some other corner of the universe. Glad you are feeling better and happy Friday.

Thanks Nancy!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Mrs. G, you don't owe any of us an explanation, but I certainly do appreciate it. Should there be a 'next time", perhaps you can just hang a "Gone Fishing" sign? Thank you for the years and years of writing and posting, and all the effort and time involved. Your writing has brightened up many of my own dark days.

Hope you're in a better place soon. :)
ps: My offer of a place to crash in NYC stands!

I am going to take you up on your NYC offer. I really want to visit my son in Feb/March. Mr. G. took him to get settled and it's hard for me to have no concept of his life in NYC...where he sleeps, takes classes, etc. I will attempt to put up a "Go Fishing" sign during future breaks. I have to say, though, that when I am in a dark place, I put my laptop on the top shelf in a closet because hiding away seems impossible to overcome. But I will make the effort after this experience! MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArli

I LOVE this place. And, I love you, Mrs. G.

Back at you, Karen!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Mrs. G. (and derfdom) ~ I've been swirling in a vortex myself and haven't posted in months...your brief hiatus, Mrs. G., was needed and understood by those who matter. But at least once a week, I peeked in to see if you had returned...kind of like waking up every morning and checking to see if it snowed yet. Sorry to hear about lost loved ones and hope that each one affected finds solace as needed. Very happy that Gary got a nap. meak

Meak, thanks for checking in and I am so grateful that derfs get a hit of joy when I post. That makes me feel so good, because I occasionally think this blog has run well past it's season. But true or not, I am here to stay for now. I hope you swirl out of that vortex soon. Feel free to email me if you need an ear who understands and won't encourage you to snap out of it. It just doesn't work that way, does it? MG

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMainely Alaskan

Mrs. G. There is a reason the earth, the flowers and the glorious trees rest in winter. Fall readies us for the rest, spring will wake us in its time. Please embrace the quiet spaces and DON"T push it. M.R. Rilke defines it best. Be well sweet dear lady.

Thank you. Hugs to you, Susan!

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan in Fla

Oh, Naomi and Wendy. I am holding you two in my heart.

November 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

I agree that it's not your responsibility to keep us entertained - it's a gift to us when you do, and thank you!! I hope you keep feeling better, Heather - thanks for letting us know what's going on with you.

My confession is that I am STILL letting myself be hurt by the woman who used to be my "best friend". She still calls herself that, but the only time I hear from her is when she wants "a bff lunch" (her term) so that she can unload. She's been through a lot in the past few years and is now facing divorce, and I feel so petty about being annoyed with her. But - in between these lunches she ignores me. We used to exchange multiple emails a day, and I miss her. I'd like to be a source of support to her, but except for those lunches, she never lets me know what's going on with her. I saw something on facebook the other day about her being at a gathering I thought about going to, but didn't because I didn't want to go alone. And she never asked if I'd like to go. That hurt. We know so many people in common that I can't walk away from the relationship completely - reminders are everywhere. Owch.

I feel for you Brigit. I think I mentioned in past FCF that I lost a friend years ago and it took me well over a year not to think of her every day. The break up (inspired by me moving across the country) was worse than any I have experience because I truly loved her like the sister I always wanted. I understand your pain. Take my advice with a grain of salt, but it might be time to move on so that you don't continue to experience terrible pain. I know this is easier said than done, but she seems to be making it clear that she isn't appreciating what wonderful/devoted you are. It's a shame she doesn't have the courage to honestly tell you what is going on in her mind. Good luck, friend. MG

November 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBriget

Heather, glad to hear you're doing better! Hugs to all of you wonderful women and Gary. The thing I love about the Manor is knowing that no matter how long the break is, we all pick right back up where we left off. Just the way good long-time friends should.

Thank you Tiffany MG

November 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

It's interesting to me to see that the seasons affect others and when they affect others. For you, it's September. For me, it's March. Fall is my favorite time of year. I like the snow so the early days of winter are fun and new and exciting. By March the snow is gone and it's still cold but not cold enough to snow so it's wet and rainy and muddy. And it just looks and feels gloomy. I can get pretty grumpy in March.

When we lived in GA I didn't feel this way. March was pretty good. That's when spring started there. Really, truly spring. Being mid-west transplants, we got outside a lot in the mild winter months. The gloomies were more apparent in late January/February.

After yet another Parent/Teacher conference where the teacher says "academically your daughter is doing fine, but..." and we chat about her lack of focus and how easily she is distracted, I'm going to get her evaluated. It's time for some definitive answers. I'm not sure which way I want things to go. With a diagnosis, we could get an IEP and some real support at school. But even without one, I've got some plans started on how to help her with her executive functioning, etc.

Kelly, it is interesting how different people are affected by certain months. When we lived in NC, I didn't have the fall dip. I think it is because of the extended fall, lack of seemingly endless rain and darkness. Moving isn't an option for us because of great employment situations--and we just bought our first house. I am cranking up the fireplace tonight and hoping that will help overcome the darkness and cheer up the house. I hope you are able to provide the best services to your daughter. xoxox MG

November 16, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkellyg

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