When Mrs. G. realized she had overshot Atlanta by five hours, she had a brief nervous collapse and then managed to get a grip. She stopped for a coffee (thanks for all the Starbucks gift cards, derfs!) and convinced herself she could soldier on. She's really glad she did, even though Mrs. G. was five hours late for her own party, Anne, Martha and Elizabeth stuck around, and when Mrs. G. finally came in the door, the party began. They sat around eating and drinking and talking and laughing and laughing and laughing. Finally, Anne said she was fading, so Mrs. G. went outside to bring her luggage in. When she drug it into the dark bedroom where she was staying, she saw the enormous, ominous outline of something and she gasped.
Mrs. G. flipped on the lights and screamed with panic and, finally, pleasure. Then she dropped to her knees and started howling with laughter. The ladies behind her were giggling and looked pretty pleased with themselves. Mrs. G. had been punk'd...in a most excellent way. Who doesn't want to be punk'd with the punk assingest, punk ass on the planet, JD?
Thank you, Martha, for finding Johnny Gigantica on the internet and bringing him. Thank you, Anne, for sacrificing your gorgeous bedroom to Mrs. G. and her cardboard hallucination fantasy husband. Thank you, Elizabeth, for being a good sport and rolling with the crazy.
These are such lovely women. After at least ten minutes of hysterical laughter all around, Mrs. G. and the gang just stood around flat Johnny Giganitica and said things like:
He's really big
Can I kiss him
We better not hear any cardboard rustling in the night.
In other words, these sluts were funny. Mrs. G. loved hanging out with them.
And as if Johnny Gigantica wasn't enough, Mrs. G. turned around to put her earrings on the dresser and discovered...
these "family" photos. Pay particular attention the the one on the far left. That's Martha in the mirror cracking up.
It's a wedding photo of, yeah, you guessed it. If this is your first time stopping by this blog, yes, as a matter of fact, derfs are an eccentric, offbeat (but highly loveable) bunch. What of it?
Big Johnny was beside the bed and little Johnny was on the bed. Mrs. G. left little Johnny behind because she didn't want Anne to be in that big bed all alone. Arrgh, Matey.
Mrs. G. reluctantly folded flat Johnny Gigantica up and said her goodbyes. Thanks for one of the best evenings a girl could ask for. Mrs. G's stomach muscles were sore from hugging cardboard laughing so much with you all. Mwah!
Mrs. G. climbed in her car and headed over to...
Janyce's house. This is Janyce showing off her knitting groups "yarn bombing" of the city of Roswell, GA. See the little, pink mouse running up the pipe? They are all around the area, these sweet, colorful mice.
Janyce has a beautiful home and a handsome husband named Campbell. He was all about good hospitality and good coffee.
One of the many highlights of this trip was dinner out with Janyce and Mrs. G's beloved friend, Faye. Faye is the co-founder of the Women's Colony fantasy, and Mrs. G. hadn't seen her in fifteen years. You know that friend who knows your whole history and you don't see very often but when you get on the phone with her, it's like you saw each other yesterday?
Faye is that friend. She's a soul sister.
Janyce graciously listened to all their back in the day stories and it was a trueblue, marvelous evening. When Mrs. G. kissed Faye goodbye, she couldn't help noticing Faye smelled like home.
This is Janyce's wily cat, Baxter. Mrs. G. let her poor, innocent feet hang off the edge of her bed, and Baxter ambushed her left foot and sank his teeth into her big toe. She yanked her feet back on the bed and Baxter hid behind objects in the room, basically terrorizing Mrs. G. in a let's play the I bite and you bleed game kind of way. Mrs. G. began emailing and facebooking Janyce, who was across the house, to come save her, but Baxter, bored with the middle aged woman using her bra as a toe tourniquet, finally left. Mrs. G. locked his furry ass out.
Mrs. G. woke up later to use the bathroom and saw this on the bed across from her's. Her knees buckled. She thought Baxter had gained 30 pounds, unlocked the bedroom door and was lying in wait to finish what he started, gnaw off a couple of her toes. It was just a stuffed animal, thank dog.
Janyce really has a cool house. This was in Mrs. G's bedroom. True, right?
This is Janyce standing by the door about to say goodbye to Mrs. G. Isn't this a great shot of Janyce, Kitty Gigantica and Bastard, Mrs. G. means, Baxter. Kidding, Mrs. G. doesn't hold grudges, especially against cats, like they really give a shit.
Mrs. G. left Atlanta with six new friends. Life is good. It really is.