Friday
Jun012012
Full Confessional Friday!
Friday, June 1, 2012 at 11:25PM Mrs. G. 
"Churchyard Stock" by Ruby Blossom
Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.
Reader Comments (39)
It's still Thursday night! I'm having a TrueBlood marathon.
The last two weeks it's been my father. This weekend it's down to see the in laws - fortunately, it's just to check in on them and have a visit. But still, it's more family issues, and there will be more stress. I feel like my head is going to explode.
Get this: we go to a wedding Saturday. The couple is absolutely sweet, in their mid-20s. They have been dating since they were 12! How often do you hear about that?
Oh Gary, what a great story. Mt Handyman and I have been together since I was 15 and I fell in love with him when I was 13. ( I'm 62)
Wish them well from this long, happily married Derf. Our advice (if they want it) is TOLERANCE in all things.
I've waited to rant/confess all week. I was going to rant about my alcholic BIL and how badly he treats his older brother ( my DH). I was going to confess how weak and insignificant I feel in the face of another friend dealing with Stage 4Cancer with her husband. Deep Brain tumor no less.
But you know what? I awoke happy today with my Hnadyman of 42 years beside me and I'm healthy and we are finally getting much needed rain. My confession and attitude has changed, it's all good, I'm lucky and life goes on. Tolerance.
I proofed the above comment, still missed it. It's My Handyman not Mt Handyman.
@ALBUG - i like the sound of Mt. Handyman better. makes him sound awesome and strong. :)
my other half is going away for the weekend and i'm taking the opportunity to do lots of things. without him. including going out to dinner, and the movies, and getting sushi, and oh god i'm going to teach the dog to deal with being in a crate for once. I AM SO EXCITED, PEOPLE.
Gary: we are attending a wedding next week of a couple who have been dating since middle school! It does happen, but not often. Hope you have a good time!
Albug is right, tolerance goes a long way.
A month ago I was uninvited to a party. I'd already bought a gift and a new dress. Earlier this week I drove down and left the gift in my friend's porch. I wish I could say I did this with a completely glad heart but it was a bit of a struggle to behave like a grownup and treat her in the Golden Rule fashion. Still, it's done and I give myself a B. Today I'll wear my pretty dress and be the belle of the grocery store.
Although I have no intention of calling to ask how her party went last night, so maybe a B-. There are limits.
Wishing all Derfs a happy/quiet/exuberant/peaceful weekend, whatever your spirit requires.
Today I begin a new challenge: 30 minutes in nature, everyday, for 30 days. I'm planning on weeding my yard, have picnic lunches outside, walking to the park, reading a book under a tree, helping at the local flower garden... sigh. I'm so excited! Someone tell me why I waited for an official "challenge" to actually do this?
Of course it's raining today. But doesn't matter; they say that the best moments to breathe outside is right after the rain, when the air is cleanest and pure. Anyone want to join me for the next 30 days?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP7tPwOa1X4&feature=youtu.be
Trying again, since the internets ate my comment.
I'm starting a new challenge today: 30 minutes in nature, everyday, for 30 days. I'm planning on weeding my yard, eating outside, reading a book under a tree, going to the park, and helping out at my local flower garden. I'm excited! Why did I wait for an actual "challenge" to do this?
Anyone want to join me?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP7tPwOa1X4&feature=youtu.be
Oh, I do love a good love story. Happy weekend, all!
ALBUG-I'm sure he'd be happy to hear you refer to him at Mt. Handyman (wink)!
TC-Is there no way to call in sick? I'm sure your family would understand.
I confess, I realize today how lucky I am. Things are changing so quickly here that sometimes I get a little despondent (like crying in a packed pizza parlor despondent. Sorry to all the patrons in Spin Pizza last night!). But today I have a very healthy, literally bouncing 3 year old, an incredibly loving husband and a great life adventure on the way. I hope all the derfs are doing well!
So, a few weeks ago I wrote here about the need to make friends and get a life... everyone was wonderful, had great ideas and gave me the nudge I needed to put myself out there. So I contacted an organization that I have always wanted to be involved with and volunteered. I made the leap and it was great but I have to admit it was like a comedy of errors. I can laugh about it now but at the time... not so much. They needed help with 3 special events... 3 days in a row. I jumped in feet first and offered to help with all... and almost losing my mind in the process! Of course, the hubby was out of town and HIS car I was driving broke down 30 miles away from home as I was leaving my volunteering event (a tow home and a lovely ride with a sketchy tow truck driver and I am still alive to talk about it), the next day the GPS in my rental car died as I was driving to the next volunteer event that was located in the middle of no where... many profanities were hollered over the course of those two days (which of course made me feel better)! It was definitely a challenge of my determination to "get a life" but I pushed through it all and I am glad I did. Thank you! Happy Friday Derfs!
NJ, it sounds like you're making some good memories for yourself, along with some new friends. Way to go!!
If I can just get through today, I am on vacation for a WHOLE WEEK! Lord knows I've got plenty to keep me busy. My main project will be restoring a vintage metal porch glider I picked up for $50! I am so jazzed about this, you have no idea. I'm also working on a room by room clean out, getting ready for a garage sale the weekend of the 16th. I'll probably end up working more at home than I do here at work, but at least I'll get to sleep in and go about things on MY schedule.
Jessie, if you're going to have a breakdown in public, I'd say Spin Pizza is a great place to do it!
Happy Weekend, Derfs! XOXO
Here's some heartache... on Wednesday I sent my son to the garage freezer with some items that needed to go out there. Twenty four hours later I did a double take as I walked past and noticed that the garage freezer door wasn't *quite* closed all the way. Yep, every single thing in there, completely thawed. I made a point of remembering major mistakes I made as a kid and kept it a teaching moment rather than the screaming moment it initially felt like.
Internets eating my posts, but three's a charm. Here goes...
I'm starting a new challenge today! I'm spending 30 minutes in nature, everyday, for 30 days. I'm so excited, I can't believe I had to wait for an actual "challenge" to do this. I'm planning on eating outside, walking barefoot in my yard, reading under a tree, going to the park, and helping at my local flower garden. I feel like new just thinking about it! Anyone want to join me?
I'm hoping that when this crap-slapperoo of a school year ends next week, my whole family here will feel better. SO much drama. SO many little (and medium) problems. One thing after another.
So here's my heathen prayer:
May the summer be long enough to relax, but short enough that you don't fantasize about stabbing someone;
May your weight go down while your spirits rise;
May you not get stung by any bees or wasps, no matter what you do;
May your trips to the Farmers' Markets yield many kinds of cheese;
May that one rosebush finally recover from the stupid blight of last year;
May your inflatable pool NOT have any holes in it this year;
and may the annoying woman across the street move out of town finally.
Oh Goddess/Allah/Buddha/Leopold hear our prayer.
Kate in Michigan - Amen Sister! :-)
Kate, I nominate that for the official Derf prayer/chant! Most excellent!!
My doctor and I fought back against the insurance company which switched my happy pills from the name brand to the generic without asking (or even informing me), and I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!!! what a relief. But scary to know a medical coder in a cubicle somewhere in New Jersey has so much control over my life and well-being!
c - No matter how grown up we are, getting uninvited or otherwise excluded stings. A lot. I think you have acted with love and grace. I also think not asking her about the party is the better choice when you know you cannot be completely gracious about it. I give you an A.
As for me, I was there when a dear friend gave birth last night. It was the first time I have witnessed such a miracle and will probably be the only time. It was precious, amazing, and a fair bit painful since I will never experience childbirth or motherhood myself. I am proud that the pain and longing I felt was outweighed by the love I feel for my friends and their beautiful new son, the joy I experienced during her labor and delivery, and my wonder and gratitude that they chose to have me with them at such an intimate moment.
Well, my daughter flew by herself to her Dad's house for the summer. I only cried a little in the airport. It gets easier, I guess. I was looking forward to a long weekend by myself, daughter at Dad's, husband and oldest step-child out of town, and younger stepchild at his Mom's. The Mom fell off the wagon and is drinking again.
So, I sound like a petulant child, but my four day solo weekend with lots of work and socializing planned is now me caretaking at the last minute my fifteen yr old stepson. We have nothing but our addresses in common. I don't watch sports or play video games, he doesn't read non fiction or craft much in his spare time. I have promised to keep him safe, drive him where he needs to be, and feed him. I will be nice, but I probably won't be very entertaining.
So now, I just want to get about three sheets to the wind silly with a friend this weekend, but probably can't. The one thing the kid can't handle is a tipsy parent coming home late. So---shit for me.
There, pity party finished. Onward and upward.
Ah, Molly, that sucks. your "me" weekend had been hijacked. Maybe some really chick-ie chick flicks and heavily buttered popcorn will help?
Oh, I agree, @kate in Michigan, that sounds like an official Derfwad prayer!
And to @nj - you go, girl! Experiences like the ones you describe are the best for sharing with maximum hilarity over lunch (or dinner with wine) with Derf-ish friends!
No complaints here, for once. MIL is OK, DH is fine, too. And I'm enjoying a pre-dinner glass of wine after a nice day. Life is good, and I am sending GOOD vibes to all who could use a bit of that.
Home from the tile mine, and my beau ("husband" still feels funny) has a great supper fixed. It's a beautiful day, and life is okay. Gary's comment reminded me I need to call some old friends. I've known him since elementary school and met her when they started dating in 9th grade. They've been through a lot, but are still funny. Sometimes I think pain helps wit. Is that better? Probably. Anyway, best to all here, hope life calms down and slides by pleasantly (despite people, health, finances, and time ) - the other naomi
I've been the lucky observer of some incredible affirmations in the past 3 days.
Last night I attended a baby shower where both moms were present: the very round-bellied birth mother and the adoptive parents. It was such a wonderful moment in time. Three weeks ago, these 2 moms had not met and the birth mother & her parents were feeling stressed over decisions yet to be made; now, there is incredible peace about this open adoption. Many old ladies from the birthmom's church were there, ladies who had known this young twenty-something woman from birth, and who had supported her all through this pregnancy (baby daddy not in the picture). There were no judgments, only love and a very affirming evening with pampering gifts for the birthmom and baby gifts for the adoptive parents (whom no one else had met before that night).
Plus I've been working on a project for the students being promoted to middle school -- parents were asked to send in messages of affirmation and I am the one inputting these into the computer to make a memory book. Fellow Derfs, your hearts would be warmed if you could read these! EVERY kid should have letters like these from important adults in their lives. "You are loved. You are special. I am so proud of you!" Doesn't every kid deserve to be told these things? I've been made teary multiple times by these notes.
That said, my own family keeps interrupting me while I'm trying to work. and with meetings, taxi duties, and those interruptions, I haven't had more than 10 minutes to blog today but my dh will still complain about my addiction to the computer. Grrrrr...
TC, you are doing a super job! I'm sorry you haven't had a break... how soon do you get one?
Molly, I don't like video games either, but I played (with a lot of help) with my kids a few weeks ago and it is a great way to bond with boys (mine don't go for crafts either). I'm guessing he would appreciate your effort to enter into his world, if even for only 10 or 15 minutes.
Eight days of school left until my boy becomes a middle schooler, and my girl turned 10 this week. My friends, I am having such a hard time with this! I feel just as strongly about needing to be home for them as they enter this stage as I did when they were wee ones and I was home with them then. So I cry my way to work- which is also bizarre because I really enjoy my job. I have an identity there that isn't just mom or wife. The people I work with are fantastic and I really don't want to work somewhere else.
I have been a teary mess- or bitchy so I don't become a teary mess. I want to be home with my kids this summer and do things with them- not be dictated by a necessity for 40 hours a week. I don't want to farm them out to the town for "camp" (daycare at the town beach). I want to take them places and give them experiences and enjoy this time before all hormones break loose and then they graduate... I don't feel like my usual even-keeled self and it is unsettling.
Kate in Michigan... A-men.
I am annoyed by everyone. And I know it just means that I'm a bit stressed right now. It's the end of the school year sprint and I still have to get the teacher gifts together. I agreed to help coordinate a workshop and that is happening the week after school is out. The group I volunteer for is having some growing pains and somehow this has been dumped in my lap. My sister is using me as her venting shoulder and I know it's just venting but some of these complaints I've heard for 20 years and I'm just about to say to her "Maybe it's not them. It's you." Biting my tongue. Hard. House and garden projects have been piling up because I've been dealing with these other things.
And I'm falling back into my old pattern of dealing with it by staying up too late watching tv or surfing the internet and not getting enough sleep which just makes me even crankier.
So, the first step is to get more sleep. Then make a to do list and keep working on crossing things off. There are only a few things that have hard and fast deadlines. Everything else can get done when I get it done. And I have to keep reminding myself of that.
Thanks for kind words. The stepson and I are doing ok, I went to a few art openings last night and let him order pizza. After I got home I chatted with him and watched him shoot zombies for a while.
With any luck he will stay with a friend tonight so he won't be bored and I can be off duty for a bit. But we are making it work even if it isn't perfect.
My worst fear has not happened, that his drunk Mom would threaten me or harras us all by phone. She has been a very quiet alcoholic and I am glad my husband has not had to deal with all that long distance. Small blessings.
Molly,
Even though your weekend got a bit sidetracked, thank you for being there for that 15 year old boy. He will remember that the rest of his life, I think. Small kindnesses go a long way.
My confession? I assumed something I shouldn't have assumed. But since I was somehow wise enough to keep my mouth shut, no one ever has to be the wiser.
Also? I can't do laundry at the moment (we thought we had a leaky pipe, cuz water was dripping through a light fixture, but turns out it is a cracked tile) and it is driving me nutso. I have so MUCH laundry to do it is amazing.
Also? My brother and his wife and their kids want to come visit and I'm so happy but trying to find time is tricky!
Love the heathen prayer...might have to print that out and post it. :)
I am on probably the world's slowest home internet connection at the in laws ("we just don't NEED any more" - even though they have to wait ridiculous amounts of time for their beloved travel sites to load), so a short *hug* of extreme gratitude for your support - and a few tears shed! I'm muddling through, it could be worse. and yes, I'll get some time for myself sometime, really. But I can't say how much this means and how much it really, really helps. Thank you.
And to those who posted about doing the right thing and taking the high road, extra pats on the back from me. It's really and truly ok to indulge in a pity party if it helps you get through it. As Guindon (whoever s/he was, that's the only citation I have for this quote and given the limitations of this connection mentioned above, I can't really look it up) said: "You shoudn't wallow in self pity. But it's ok to put your feet in and swish them around a little."
It's late and I am too tired and had too much wine to write much. But I read every single comment, and I am filled with wonder at the wisdom, humanity, and vulnerability of all you ladies and Gary!
Amazed at what's going on in everyone's lives, and how smart you are at thinking about it. Amazed at how your writing communicates the essence of your personalities and humanity.
Wow. What a thing this Derfwad has wrought!
Tomorrow I will write about my dinner out with a millionaire music industry star.
Love reading everyone's confessions this week. Aunt Snow, I may have had too much wine, but I'm still going to forge ahead!
@Susan, your freezer story reminded me of a funny one from my past. My son had been on a fishing trip with a youth group and brought home lots of yummy/smelly fish. We were booked for the next few days, so I told him to take it out to the freezer. I neglected to be specific about which freezer, and he put the fish in the unplugged upright freezer we were trying to sell. A week later when I went out to the freezer that was plugged in, I was confused when I couldn't find the fish. You do not want me to describe what I found when I opened the door on the unplugged freezer, trust me.
@C...I am giving you an A+ for your actions over the uninviting...who does that? There is some satisfaction to dropping the gift off and I applaud you for doing it. I have not been uninvited but last minute invited via voicemail after the party was discussed in front of me repeatedly by friends who are like family (and wrongly assumed by invite was in the mail!) The voicemail to stop by...when hell freezes over was my first thought..
Back from visit to my family..........I just don't get my sister. Never have. Never will.
Cardinal - Oh. My. God.
I'm sorry the site went down but all's well.
@Susan, one of the greatest things I can say about my mom is one day (right before I left for a summer trip to Europe when I was 13), I unplugged our deep freeze to plug in the mixer to make mashed potatoes. A week or so after I left, my mom noticed a a smell and discovered everything in the freezer was ruined because I forgot to plug it back in. Our deep freeze was filled to the brim to help save grocery money. She didn't give me one ounce of guilt because she knew it was an honest mistake. I credit her for teaching me not to freak out about honest mistakes when my kids were young. So, Susan, you're a good mom! Oh, Cardinal, gagging.
Thanks for the affirmation, Mrs. G.!