So, Yeah
Tuesday, May 29, 2012 at 10:47PM Mrs. G. 
For someone who has been blogging for over five years, Mrs. G. is still cagey when it comes to social networking. Oh, she's in deep, but at least four times a week she feels suspicious and leery about all her business (even her humdrum, moth-eaten business) being spread all over creation. One reason she has been disconcertingly honest about many of her mistakes and shortcomings is because she figures she'd rather get them out there before someone else does. Rest assured there are still some less than stellar life experiences for friends to make a monkey of down the road, but Mrs. G. will likely spill the beans first. Even when she tries to keep a secret, to remain dignified, she usually can't hold out for more than three minutes. Just stay quiet and she will blurt out what she didn't want to tell you.
But back to her mistrust of the all knowing, retentive nature of cyberspace. Lately, Mrs. G. has become paranoid that the internet is judging her, maybe even targeting her as a hygienic concern. Everywhere she goes -- Facebook, Amazon, The New York times, Epicurious -- this ad is floating somewhere on the page:
Paranoia is setting in. Today, she took two showers and lathered four times from head to toe with ginger almond soap. Later, when she ordered file folders from Staples online, there it was:
If Mrs. G. up and disappears, you'll know why.
P.S. She smells great, like gin and rose water
Blogging, Technology, This and That, Womankind
Reader Comments (29)
Just as long as you aren't walking around smelling of vinegar. That's all I'm saying on that.
I get "Remove Belly Fat!" And since I think I'm really skinny, I'm starting to get paranoid that I might have some kind on anti-anorexia or something. Those ads are the pits.
You don't have to answer this, but, um.....have your been searching for those kinds of products? I know nothing of computers, but I heard on some NPR program that advertisers can collect all kinds of information from your computer habits (I have no idea how) and then target ads based on the things you are searching for.
I get all these facebook "(your conservative 'friend's' name) likes Mitt Romney. Click Here to like Mitt!" which has inspired this mantra of mine "I don't give a sh!t about Mitt". I would rather my nether regions stink like that dead skunk in our road than vote for Mitt ;)
I get the belly fat one too although sadly sometimes I could be tempted...
I don't pay attention to them- wonder what I am getting- probably age defiant crap.
I get ads for dental schools in California. I also get the belly fat ones, too.
I never look, but today I looked . . .
And I got an ad for "Faith Women Wanted" at seniorpeoplemeet.com It goes on to say: No games. Just real guys looking for a faithful woman to take care of. Click and go to SeniorPeopleMeet to see Pics of local men.
OMG! Why did I look this morning! I am NOT a senior, & certainly not looking for a man - have one and believe me, do not want another! Especially one that wants to "take care" of me!
Where is my Obama ad - I like those! lol
Facebook actually had the nerve to suggest this passionate animal lover should 'like' the group "Real Women Wear Fur". WTF, Facebook?
The internet is just being a sarcastic idiot, Mrs. G. That is all.
ROFLMAO! Be careful what you say in emails...it'll appear in ads soon!
I wouldn't let it get me down, Mrs. G. I get ads for Russian girls who want to meet me and p#nis herbs.
Uh, I get ads for Russian brides!
LM, no, I haven't been looking up info on feminine odors, which is just one more reason why this is so disturbing. I did look up how to get the smell of garlic off my hands MONTHS ago. Maybe that qualifies.
Belly flab and IKEA, here. What's scary is that does sort of sum it up.
If those ads are personal, I'm really confused about the male enhancement ads I get. What does it mean? Maybe my husband should be taking it personally?
I get ads for "Good Christian Singles" (and I'm married and NOT Christian), Tang0-related attire, and 'how to get rid of toe fungus.' So yeah, the Internet is an as$hole with a peculiar sense of humor.
Hmmm. Lately I get cute Target bowls, cute sandals and cute dresses. And anti-Romney ads.
The Internet likes me! It really likes me!
Gary..."I don't give a shit about Mitt"!!! I shall adopt that mantra!!
There are also the seemingly innocuous ones where you looked at a pair of shoes once. Okay, more than once because they are sooo cute and you really want them and they are way too expensive but you still really want them and now...those shoes show up on everything I look at. They are in the sidebar, the tail end of a blog post, here and there just taunting me, egging me on, cooing in my ear.
Me too, saraspunza.
Being I Wisconsin I mostly gets ads about the recall which does make me feel a bit stabby...like I wanted to see more of his ugly mug everywhere I turn. It's a toss up as to which I hate more, the ads or the 10 or so political phone calls I get everyday.
Gary - love your mantra!
I keep seeing the belly fat ad and garden supply ads. It is disconcerting--esp. on Gmail.
You sound like you'd smell nice.
And I do not have bad credit, thank you very much, Gmail!
I've been giggling and snorting through this entire post and comments... because I get ALL those ads! The cute shoes (and I'm talking great manshoes and sandals here, no high heels need apply) are especially taunting me since I've been giving all my money to the podiatrist lately and none of those wonderful shoes are compatible with orthotics.
Now if I start getting ads for Depends, I'm going to shrivel up and whimper...
PS: I'm going to go shower now...
Gary that needs to be on a bumper sticker - and I've never had a bumper sticker on my car in my life.
Darla
Sign me up for an I don't give a sh*t about Mitt t-shirt! I'm also still chuckling over Gary's reference to nether regions...
I currently have ads on facebook for Dave Matthew's winery. Works for me!
I have "Obama's Broken Promises", Zappos shoes and some random shopping site. Plus I have the local University's athletics page and something from One King's Lane. I clicked on One King's Lane once and it demands a login so I immediately click out of it. I refuse to prostitute my email address for nothing more than windowshopping. Sorry OKL, but you're a no-go in my book. I clicked on O's Broken Promises once just to see what was going on in the enemy camp. It's the usual balderdash. I'm more comfortable hanging out on Moveon.org, but every once in a while I'll click on one of the radical right pages just to see what they're saying. Turns out that it's nothing intelligent.
Kate in Michigan you nailed it, "the Internet is an asshole with a peculiar sense of humor". I totally agree.
I get ads for shoes :-)
Maybe it's telling you to have more gin?
Facebook is totally convinced that I have gout and should be participating in a gout study. That ad is *always* on my page.