Friday
Apr272012
Full Confessional Friday!
Friday, April 27, 2012 at 10:59AM Mrs. G. 
Be it Venial or Mortal (there's no escaping Original), we've all got secrets -- light, dark, funny, sad -- worth bringing to light. The act of confession can be liberating, mollifying and entertaining. Contrition? Repentance? A shot of Tequila? That's your call, sister.
Photo: Women dancers from Kiralfy's Carnival of Venice, "The Trail," Lewis and Clark Exposition, Portland, Oregon, 1905
tagged Full Confessional Friday
Full Confessional Friday
Reader Comments (77)
Oh, how I've missed Derfdom this week! Please, lots of people comment!
--kate in MI
Hi Kate! MG
I got GOOD SH!T to share:
a) my fundraiser for Mrs G's GAS MONEY this summer sold my pottery and netted Mrs G more than 120, thank you DERFS for helping!
b) in the process of this, I swear it is true, Mrs G's MOM has become my very best friend, I KID YOU NOT. We exchange emails all day long and gossip about her dogs...and Mrs G.....and, well, other G's too because Mrs G's mom is chatty......ALL TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!
Sweet Lord. MG
Hey everyone! Hey Kate and Gary! I've had a long week, but am glad to hang out here with a glass of wine for a while.
Hey Susan! MG
Hey, now we know where Angelina Jolie got the idea to do that pose with her leg!
I've come to realize that I despise my job with everything in my being. But, like so many others, I stay because I have decent benefits. And I like frivolous luxuries like electricity and food and water.
My in-laws are a pack of narcissistic twits, and I don't know how my husband came out of that gene pool even half-way normal. Without getting in to deep in to the story, my husband has some pretty serious chronic health issues, including cyanide poisoning and an incomplete spinal cord injury. But his father still expects him to come over nearly every day to help him with some landscaping or home improvement project. DH has finally seen the light that his dad is taking complete advantage of him (NO! Really?!) and is starting to say 'no', but then he has to deal with his dad getting his panties all in a wad because he can't do it all himself. To top it all off, FIL never says 'thank you' and has the balls to tell his neighbor 'yeah, I've really been busting my ass out here on this yard'. Hmm...
But, I'm going to work really hard to brush all this nonsense off and just enjoy the weekend! It's turning cool here and we'll probably have storms tonight, so I'm thinking I'll curl up in bed with a glass of wine and a good book! Happy weekend, Derfs!!
Happy weekend to you too, Kelley. I hope the family crazy calms down for you and your husband. MG
Eau mah gah. I have been some bizarro-land version of Holly Housekeeper. I have:
washed cabinet fronts
washed walls
emptied and cleaned out/de-crappified one of our "junk drawer" cabinets
Scrubbed the bathroom, corners and all
washed the floors REALLY WELL
No, I"m not pregnant. I'm just having lots of stress-causing stuff (nothing life-threatening) go on, and that's how my mom taught me to deal with nervous energy. All in all, it's pretty good as a stress reducer (PLUS! I get a clean house!!)
BUT: I'm getting kinda pissed because my hubs does not seem to notice and hasn't said anything at all about how startlingly clean things are getting. (and yes, I DID tell him what I've been doing.)
Sigh. First world problems right here.
I wish I had this sort of reaction to stress. Your house looks gorgeous, Kelley!
Kate In Michigan.
That's how you know I'm stressed or pissed off...I start cleaning like a madwoman!
I made a joke to my sister-in-law when she said "Ewww" about having to pee in an outhouse on her son's scouting trip. I said "Mothers of boys are not allowed to play the prissy card". My normally cool brother-in-law jumped down my throat to the point where I cried. My husband said I shouldn't take it personally, but they have known me and my sense of humor for 20 years.
Lizzybean, that's a mild joke in my book. Maybe your "normally cool" brother was having a day. MG
Just a reminder to all readers this is a humor blog with a heaping side of community. Mrs. G's only experience with any kind of therapy is paying for it. Never take her advice. These comments aren't regularly monitored. If you are in a bad way and need some help, please get it:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) http://www.hopeline.com/
National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-8255 (1-800-273-TALK)
Suicide Hotline Listing by State: http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE /800-799-7233 and 800-787-3224 (TTY)
Alcohol and Drug Abuse Helpline and Treatment: 800-234-0420
Kate, what is that psychosis?!? I do it too. Only rarely, only when it's really bad. I was on the phone recently with my husband and I said, "Oh, I'm good. I'm on a stool, vacuuming cobwebs off the tops of the walls." It's controllable, is what it is. Not much in life is controllable, cobwebs are.
mrs G, please add to that list of helpful contacts:
Need a clever haiku, email kate in Michigan
Need a stupid and pointless haiku, email Gary Rith :)
We finally know when my father needs to go for his next test which involves minor...well, surgery, I guess. Which means I also know when I need to be there. I've been a very good grownup and made travel arrangements and even called his doctor's office to find out how long recovery should last.
I just hope this test shows what we need it to show. Otherwise, there are a lot of decisions we didn't think we were going to have to deal with quite this soon that are going to have to be discussed. And in order for me to be there we had to rearrange a trip we'd been planning to visit/check up on the in laws. My confession: I'm really not cut out for all this care stuff. I do it because I have to, but I'm not particularly good at it, and I don't get any satisfaction out of it.
In good news, I got a really good haircut this week and I've straightened up/put away a lot of things that have been sitting around for awhile. I'll take what progress I can get.
Our "brother" Gary
Doth make me blush a little...
but you KNOW he's right.
heh.
Our "brother" Gary
Doth make me blush a little...
but you KNOW he's right.
heh.
Kate in Michigan, I was feeling rather low last week and I cleaned, too. I felt surprisingly better. And I did announce VERY LOUDLY that I had washed the floor so I got the appropriate kudos. This week I feel much better. Of course I'm on a BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN high right now. Is there a Mancake Withdrawal hotline?
TC - it doesn't seem to be a 100% linear process for me - being grown up and taking care of my parents. My parents traveled from their hometown to Duke Hospital, which is near me, so my sweet dad could have surgery for prostate cancer this week. I helped throughout: went over directions, helped with the admit process, sat with my mom, met with the doctor, emailed family, made sure my mom ate meals, was assertive when his meds didn't show up... then went out to my car that night to go home and couldn't find my car. Long, embarrassing story later, I had driven up to the hospital in a hurry, parked in the first parking garage I saw, walked a really, really, really long way to find my dad, then went out a very different door that night. I was exhausted from the long day and afraid I was getting ready to become a bad statistic (walking around, alone, in a dark parking deck at night) so wound up calling hospital security to drive me around and find my car... in a different parking deck. They said, "Oh, this happens ten times a day." I can laugh now! Best wishes with your dad!
Just a couple confessions on a Friday evening with a mimosa (they are not just for breakfast in my house).
First off, I confess that I think this is my first time posting here at Derfwad Manor. I have been following Mrs. G for years but normally just remain a lurker. Maybe the champagne is helping me with that.
My main reason for posting is that I am at the point of total frustration with having no life! Sounds lame but seriously, it seems so difficult to make friends as I get older. I have moved 6 times in the last 6 years, due to my husband's work (back and forth from east coast to west coast). We are finally going to be in one place for a few years and the reality has set in that I need to re-make a life for myself or I will just be cranky while climbing the walls. I work from home, which doesn't help my social life. Oh I can go on and on about it but it really would just be a pity party. I know I need to just suck it up and get myself out there and meet people, it just feels so intimidating.
There. I feel better already.
Welcome, NJ! We've all been there (both delurking and needing to make new/more friends). You can do it.
I'm like the Walmart greeter here tonight. Should I get up out of this chair yet?
My sister and I deal with Mom's health issues in different ways. She is a very good (professional)nurse and the person you want by your side for doctor appointments and hospitalizations. Once you're over it, she's over it!
I'm a really good at-home caregiver. I used to do it for strangers for a living, so when Mom is recuperating from illness or surgery, I'm the one who shows up to cook and clean and shop and schlep to physical therapy. It's a good balance.
I have no confessions this week. I went to the beach and this weekend I'm going to a garden show. My husband is a bit cranky, but I'm cutting him some slack because he told me his boss was being a dickhead this week.
Hi NJ!
Take a class in something you think you might be interested in. You'll find people with similar interests and might find a new friend!
So... we are finally getting a puppy! But (!) the one we fell in love with is not coming to our house. We get our second choice, knowing there was a person ahead of us that could pick that puppy. I am trying so hard to not feel so let down!
Hugs, High-Fives, and Happy Weekend to you all!
Welcome, NJ. I've been where you are--it's actually the reason I started this blog. I was 40 and feeling slightly invisible (from/to myself, not others).
Make a list of things that would be outside your comfort zone. Try to do one of these things every couple/three weeks/month (don't try to do too much or you might be overwhelmed and tempted to crawl back in the shell).
If I can drive around the country (when crossing bridges and leaving home for long periods of time freak me out) meeting derfs, you can join a book club, cooking or pole dancing class (smiley emoticon)! Need some ideas, check out meetup.org. Come to a summer derf gathering! That counts.
Naomi, yay for a puppy. If it makes you feel any better, Chewie was a return and he is the best dog ever. I can't imagine why someone would have brought him back. He was the last puppy my friends had left.
That cleaning thing, what IS that?! I had Monday off, so I cleaned out my bedroom/bathroom linen closet and the hallway linen closet. Ended up with tidy closets and two bags and a box of stuff for our upcoming garage sale and a big trash bag full of crap. I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the bathrooms and mowed part of the yard. Where does this super-human stamina come from and why can't I do that every day?
I had a really hard time with being my mom's care-giver. Part of it was nothing but pure personality clash between us. She was angry, bitter and resentful and I was the scapegoat for everything that went wrong in her life. There's no glory for us putting on our big girl panties and dealing with it sometimes, is there? I'm far from being an expert in care-giving, but I do know that it's important to make time for yourself. Always. You can't be good for your parent if you aren't good to yourself.
Welcome, NJ! Have you thought about volunteering to help with something in your new community or with a cause that interests you? It seems like there's a lot of us out there these days looking for a few good friends.
I have no friends and I've lived here for 38 years! I had friends once, but we all went our separate ways. I have no one to call when my husband is gone for the evening and I feel lonely. So, I feel your pain NJ, but I have no suggestions to help you, I'm sorry. It is hard to make friends as we get older. I am lucky though, my Handyman and I are stil friends after 42 years, and Jimmy The Giant (my dog) thinks I'm the second best human on the planet. And, oh, all the Derfs, they help.
I ran around cleaning today but not because of anger issues, but because a certain son of a certain Derfwad is here visiting, and my youngest son is over the moon happy.
My FIL has been approved for cancer sugery, which is great news.
I now have to work Friday mornings, which is not so great, but all in all it's not that bad.
And could this headache go away please????
Hi NJ! I agree with Mrs. G on everything! I'd also add--think about the things you like to do...museum trips? Geology? Reading? Now see if your local university has continuing education classes that have something to do with those things and go meet people with like interests. Meetup.org is also great for that (just like Mrs. G mentioned).
My mentor had a going away party for me last night at her house and it was LOVELY and the outpouring of just...love from everyone made me a little teary. Then they gave me this mug that said something about being a warm, caring, hard-working social worker and oh boy, I just about lost it. This practicum this year, as difficult as it's been at times, has really solidified for me that I've found my calling. I'm going to be a SOCIAL WORKER. So. Excited.
Mrs G, at some point post a list of dates and approximate locations/contact info for the Summer Derfwad Tour. It would be mucho helpful.
NJ, moving 6 times in 6 years is a sure way to not have a social network built up around you! Don't be too hard on yourself, it takes time, even once you are settled in one place. In the meantime, you can hang out in the blogosphere with us!
Suburban, I posted my schedule a while ago. I'll repost again soon.
http://derfwadmanor.squarespace.com/derfwadmanorsquarespacecom/2012/4/8/travel-and-change-of-place-impart-new-vigor-to-the-mind-righ.html
@susan: thanks for sharing your story :). It's really comforting to know it's not just me - even though the test/trip is in a couple of weeks (soonest they could get him in, argh), I've had several moments like that!
And thanks to Kelley and Little Miss Sunshine State - hearing other people's experiences gives me ideas of what I need to figure out. It's not really caregiving at this point so much as just being there in case of things like side effects - Dad lives alone away from all of us, and there are times you just need another person around. If and when something more is necessary I'll probably be here bitching and moaning and pleading for advice, but at this point we're focusing on finding out the data - then making decisions based on that.
Not that we can't jump to conclusions with the best of them :).
@NJ: by posting here, you've already made a great first step :).
A long, miserable stress-filled week at work...but have mostly wiped out the negative with an amazing evening of lovely food, excellent spirits, and the incredible talents of James McMurtry (front row seats even)! Balance, it's all about the balancing act...
Still in the depths from a suicide two weeks ago. I've had two sets of house guests in that time, and been able to rally and make everyone comfortable, but I am raw inside. Talked to a friend today who is equally devestated; somehow it made it more painful to see her pain.
NJ and Albug, you have friends here. Lean on us when you're feeling lonely. Our ability to connect and feel a part of a group is an amazing gift.
See, i told you I wasn't making this up, my new BFF, Mrs G's mom and I have exchanged emails all night and the lady is HILARIOUS:
about her dog
".a Beagle named Dexter humped him but since Seamus had his ball and is only "affectionate w/ his zebra pillow" (it's on a high shelf in the guest room closet)..he didnt get screwed but he ignored the beautiful pom and raced around w/ the big dogs.....then I took my friend who drove down to dinner after Yappy House"
I hope my new BFF does not mind me sharing these pearls of wisdom, but DERFS TELL ME: is it any wonder where Mrs G inherited her MOJO from?
And BTW, its true, beagles can be like that....my beagle Penny humps our male cat Spike who is bigger than she is....
Derfs - there is such a thing as pre-emptive karma right? I have just waved goodbye to my daughter (13) heading off on her 24 hour Scout Camp where sleep is optional. The weather forecast is horrible, the rain will vary from heavy drizzle to mahoosive downpour the entire time they are away and tonight the winds are predicted to hit gale force. I, on the otherhand, am about to walk into town to the local farmer's market and stock up on lovely foods before returning home to a well-fuelled woodburner, my knitting, some sewing and maybe a movie. I shall remember this day during those times when said child turns into 'Damien' over the next few months. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
(Actually I think she will have a great time and any discomforts suffered will simply become story fodder with which to turn her mother's hair grey prematurely.)
Trash, your day sounds lovely! It sounds like your daughter's day will make for some interesting story-telling. Hope she doesn't get too wet!
My son will be 12 in a couple of months. I love that kid more than anything else in this world, but geezy-pete, I am dreading the whole puberty thing something fierce. The mood swings, the attitude...YIKES! I know it's different for everyone, but I remember how moody I was, and my husband's gene pool is full of piss & vinegar, so I have a feeling that it's going to be a very bumpy ride. I can just lock him in his room until he's 19 or 20, right?
Cardinal, I'm so sorry for your loss. Let us know if we do anything to help you.
@Kate in Michigan: When you run out of things to do at your house, can you come to mine?
I've been looking for a new job for almost a year and more and more I've been thinking "What's the point?" Of course the point is that we've all been limping along at work the entire time, hoping things will improve, but now it's about 98% certain that one of the departments I work for is going to be eliminated. After my last rejection I decided I'm going to suspend looking entirely and try to enjoy what time is left before launching back into the search. So just now a friend called to alert me to a posting in today's paper. Of course I'm going to go write that cover letter now!
Good luck to everyone with all they are struggling with!
I've been off the radar lately due to school stress, family stress, and weight loss stress. I've slowly been catching up on everything Derf! I've missed you all!! I graduate in 24 days as a NURSE. I never thought I would get this far. My confession is weak but here it is...now that I'm done with school I'm TERRIFIED that I have to go back to work and actually care for patients!!! I mean seriously scared to death about rejoining the workforce as a professional. People will be counting on me to care for their loved ones. Holy Hannah it scares the shit outta me!!!
I'm sick. Again. Actually I'm on the mend after a couple of truly miserable days but there is a teensy tiny part of me that wishes I were just a little bit more sick still so that I could get out of today's beach visit with ALL of my husband's paternal side of the family.
DH leaves for two weeks on Tues. I get to get up at 2:30 so that I can drive him to the airport. With the littles in tow. That's going to make for a great day. It's not my husband's fault, it's his job and we live off of that job, but I'm still feeling resentful. Whine whine whine.
Heather in Oregon -- maybe he should take a taxi? Or are you too far out in the boonies? I know my husband gets reimbursed for the travel expense.
Running late on Saturday, as usual.
I am embarrassed to confess that I had a big ole pity party about gaining a few pounds and generally aging. Complete with mini breakdown involving tears and sulking and retreating to the bedroom to read for four hours solid. What happened is that I cought a view of myself changing clothes in a full length mirror. Awkwardly hunched over, nothing but foundation garments. Total shock. Like most people I only really look in the mirror standing tall, sucking it in. So it was a surprise to see this other person in the mirror. Also, pissed because I had been working pretty hard for two weeks to change my eating habits and work out. There is nothing worse than being sore all over and still seeing no results. But, the next morning I got up and did my workout video, because one thing I know for sure, if I really want it to be different, then just do it. No one ever got inbetter shape lying in bed reading books and eating low fat triscuits while crying.
But I am also doing the much more difficult work of being really truly happy and confident in whatever I have going on right now. I spent my 20's insecure and not realizing how awesome and vibrant I was, I won't fritter away my 30's doing the same thing. 35 hits in a few months and I want to feel confident and vibrant no matter what my shape is. I want my shape to be a smile. This process is even harder than the workouts. A mental workout that leaves my brain sore, but hopefully in better shape.
I'm having a baby. NEXT FRIDAY. People, this is mildly terrifying. I am holding my breath hoping he survives until then. Meanwhile, I'll have 3 ultrasounds to check on us within the next 6 days, so it better freaking work. Cross your fingers, pray, do a dance for us, but please send your positive energy. 'Hoping to report next week that he's here and fully functional.
navhelowife, I'm glad your FIL is doing well!
Cardinal, I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hang in there.
Trash, I hope your daughter has a great time, and your day sounds so lovely.
~Annie, maybe this is the one. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Becky, 24 days? Congratulations. If you are willing, I would love to post a graduation picture so we can really woo hoo your accomplishent. You are going to be a GREAT nurse. How exciting.
Molly, I'm sorry you had to have a pity party but look at you! You got up and worked out so give yourself some credit. Hell, just give yourself credit period. I love that you want to make the most of your thirties.
k-anon, I am so happy that you are so close. I am going to think about you until you tell us you have delivered your beautiful baby. Honestly, all my best thoughts in this most exciting (stressful for you, I know) time. The world welcomes you, k-anon's baby!
MOLLY...I am losing weight by using My Fitness Pal on the internet. It logs all your meals and exercise, but you also have friend lists so you can encourage each other. I've lost about 7 pounds in 3 weeks and my friend has lost over 10 in a month.
I'm disgusted with all the baggy skin from a 40 pound loss. I actually liked how I looked better when I was fatter and firmer, but I need to do this for my health.
If anyone is using My Fitness Pal and wants another friend on the list I am jeanne26p
Let's do it together!!
Hi Mrs. G and Derfs-
This is such a great blog, Mrs. G. I look forward to meeting you this summer!
I just returned from two weeks in England and Scotland with my darling daughter - a gift given to me by my oldest and dearest friend. Getting away, while fabulous, has made being home again and the every day work world and routine seem like a whole new, bright and wonderful place! Sun is shining, birds are singing, etc. The point being that if you can get away even for just a long weekend, a change of scenery can add a new perspective to a familiar life.
And while no Mr. Darcy or other mancake appeared to snog with in England, the eye candy was delightful, until I realized I was scoping out men that were totally age inappropriate. I still forget that I am not in my 30s anymore and should shift my gazing zone up a decade. Or not?
Happy weekend!
Susan
And I think we may even have layed on decent weather for you! Glad you had a good time and I think so long as you don't actually do anything untoward then scoping the inappropriately aged is fine (winky face here).
K-anon, sending all sorts of good thoughts your way.
Jessie & Mrs. G, thanks for the kind words. Just being here is a great comfort.
K-anon, I am so excited for you and am praying for you both. The waiting must be absolute torture. I hope you can somehow put the anxiety aside and breathe. Breathing is such a great stress reducer. Before I started yoga, I didn't realize how often I held my breath when anxious. Pro tip: sing. It's impossible not to breathe well if you're singing!
Beautiful weekend wishes to all the Derfs.
Becky, congratulations! I hope you enjoy working as a nurse. I graduated from nursing school in 2009, so I know how terrifying it is to make the transition from student to nurse. I hope you have a wonderful preceptor who will help you with that.
My confession is that I'm kind of ashamed of what I confessed last week. This week, I could tell, for the third week in a row, that my irritating coworker had forgotten about her one-to-one meeting with our boss, so I said something.