eight mistakes mrs. and miss g. will not repeat in 2013


eight mistakes mrs. g. will not repeat in 2013

1) Mrs. G. will not set the tub-n-tile wipes beside the toilet.

2) Mrs. G. will not chronically put more energy into any relationship.

3) Mrs. G. will have no further face-offs with squirrels. They are shifty assholes and they always win.

big teeth squirrels

4) Mrs. G. will never wash with Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap all over her body if you know what she is saying?


6) She will never give Chewie a rubber band to play with (see: pulling a foreign object from a dog's unwilling ass).


7) Mrs. G. will never listen to another racist/homophobic/sexist comment without speaking up loudly.

8) Mrs. G. will not play Scrabble with Mr. G. again. He challenges all her words which forces her to refer to him as Funk and Wagnell.



eight mistakes miss g. will not repeat in 2013

1) Miss G. will not drink Bud Light (see also: Bud Light Lime).


2) Miss. G. will not hide from her thesis advisor behind a garbage can ("It was just not the time, ok?")

3) Miss G. will never again allow a preschooler to hold the bubble container.

4) Miss G. will never have bangs again.

5) Miss. G. will never eat Chicken McNuggets for more than two meals in a row.

6) Miss G. will never date another guy who lists his actual job as secondary to his career as an artist or a magician.


7) Miss G. will never buy more underwear instead of doing laundry (editor's note: you can always use your swim suit in a pinch).

8) Miss G. will not play scrabble with Mr. G. because he occasionally engages in philosophical reasoning...


subjective philosophical reasoning.



Reader, what are some mistakes you will not repeat in 2013?


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Reader Comments (44)

I will not listen to my husband's advice in the kitchen.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmalltown Me

I will not pour energy into people who suck it out of me endlessly. And, as for Mrs. G's number 5-I LOVE the Dr. Bronner's tingle!

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterk

1 - i will not put off my health for other things again. though i do feel FANTASTIC post-cholecystectomy.
2 - i will not spend another dime on pet health insurance.
3 - i will not spend one more ounce of effort on expecting to be done with debt in the next 2-3 years. it just isn't going to happen.
4 - i will not get into debates with people about my opinions on gay marriage. Maryland voted correctly, people need to get over it.
5 - i will not plan trips during hurricane season. inevitably, those plans will be ruined by a week without power.
6 - i will not waste more money on makeup i won't wear.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterfalnfenix

I will not worry about what anyone but me thinks of my choices.
I will No longer undervalue myself.
I will stop worrying that my puppy will still be pooping in my house when she is full grown. Ill just clean it up.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

J'adore this entire post. Oh, the falling apple and the nearness of the tree are glorious in this family!

I will not let unfinished business spiral me into a grumpy, slightly twitchy mindset until completed.

I will not buy new hair products. Cider vinegar and tea tree will renew the stuff I already have.

I will be honest when confronted and strive not to let the resulting frustrated tears come out. Along with that...I won't let being tipsy be the only time I tell people how I really feel.

I won't second-guess myself.

December 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterteacakes i will think of mine later (have many, so will consoidate) but i wanted to say to Miss G......when i was packing to move to Japan, i had a gajillion (true number) underwear.....true story. obviously, i don't like to do laundry either. and fyi...sure a swim suit can work, but a one-piece suit poses a whole 'nuther set of problems!!!

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterdebKuroiwa

1. I won't let potty training make me a stressed out, shitty mom (pun intended).
2. I won't swear or say sassy things about other people, in front of my two year olds. They will repeat what I say.
3. I will not let my body insecurities keep me from swimming with my daughters next summer.
4. I won't run, screaming, from my garden, for fear of spiders.
5. I won't feel bad, if I only read one book in 2013.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSandra Kohlmann

I will not take another single photo of me doing duck lips.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnettefl

I will never ever not print ALL documents for a trip, even if we are told that we do not need said documents. Trust me, those papers will be needed.

On a somewhat related note, my husband will never be so late for a flight as to necessitate running through the airport to the gate, with one daughter carrying her shoes in her hands, and me contemplating divorce every step of the way.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen on the Edge

I will not allow myself to get obsessed to the point of not-sleeping over battles I'm fighting for someone else in a professional capacity.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCassi

First, WTF is that thing with the orange teeth?! Is that a squirrel? I had no idea they had such serious dental issues.

I will stop wishing for what was and worrying about what hasn't happened yet, and will focus on the present.

I will meditate more often.

I will take a picture of something that makes me smile every day.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

Annette, that is a hard learned lesson!

I will not try to please anyone in my personal life.
I will only focus on a few things at a time.
I will not let the UMich campus squirrels get too close to my daughter (those bastards are HUGE).
I will limit my popcorn intake.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

I will look over my shoulder twice--no--three times before backing out of the DSW Shoes parking lot, though I SWEAR that woman was speeding because she wasn't there when I put the car into reverse.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRainbow Motel

I will remember that others are on their own journey and it's not my job to tell them how to walk it.
I will take the chance and put myself out there for a job I think I can do.
I will not put off vacuuming until the dust bunnies are bigger than the cat.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBriget

I will not allow my doctor to schedule surgery on the front-end of Christmas.
I will not allow anyone to pull stitches from my feet (particularly from my toes) without application of pain killers.

On a related note, I will think very, very hard about agreeing to play Scrabble or Boggle with my husband (he might be related to Mr. G).

Mrs. G's #1 is a lesson I learned a few years ago. It is not easily forgotten.
Miss G's #1 lesson is also very familiar (substitute Rainier Ale, a.k.a., Green Death).

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren (formerly kcinnova)

@Briget - we call those "dust rhinos" in my house.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterfalnfenix

I will stop assuming that everyone in my family wants what I want.

I will pursue my own interests and avocations without trying to whip up enthusiasm or approval from loved ones.

I will listen more and talk less.

I will work with my spouse to set some mutual goals for our future.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMIME

1. I will stop obsessing over trying to change people who are negative. I only have control over me.
2. I will continue to do nice things for myself, such as going to yoga & getting my nails done.
3. I will force myself to leave the house more often on the week-ends - for some reason this is becoming a real issue for me!
4. I will apply to the doctoral program this year and not convince myself I can't do it.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterms_teacher

I think you need to put a travel disclaimer on number 7, buying underwear instead of doing laundry. This has saved my life more than once.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

What is wrong with buying more underwear when you are behind on laundry? I thought everyone did that.

This is where Words with Friends is BETTER than playing traditional Scrabble, Mrs. G. It automatically tells you if your word isn't valid. No more arguments! Although I wouldn't blame JugglingJenn for feeling a tad resentful about that "ZKEG" that won me the game a few months ago....

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersuburbancorrespondent

1. I will not let my daughter have glitter for projects in her room.
2. I will not buy too many olives and such at the olive bar just because they look good.
3. I will not give a shit when everyone complains I didn't get the exact brand of crap at the store they want.
4. I will let others fail. It isn't my job.
5. I will not try to grow tomatoes. It isn't working in this god awful heat.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermolly

1 - I will not procrastinate de-cluttering and washing dishes. My home feels calmer when it is neat.
2 - I will not give more (on the whole) in relationships than I get.
3 - I will not obsess about every point in every class. 94% is just as much an A as 99%. (93% is an A-, however, which is generally unacceptable and pisses me off.)
4 - I will not succumb to every siren call of the sugar and fat.
5 - I will not berate myself on those inevitable occasions when I do succumb.
6 - I will not go the whole year without swimming because I know other people will judge my body. Screw 'em - I love to swim.
7 - I will not ask vague questions and then get upset when I get vague answers in return.
8 - I will not live in the future.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterViolet

@ Bridget -- we give 'em names, and call them pets.

I resolve to have a stiff drink before going out to dinner. Because paying $12 for a shitty glass of wine is all kinds of wrong.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterUse Wisdom

I am no longer going to get my blood pressure up shouting at the idiot drivers on the road.

I am no longer going to get mad at people acting stupidly, rudely and ignorantly.

I have resolved to join Barb's love ninjas for the year ahead.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrightside-Susan

I love reading these!

December 30, 2012 | Registered CommenterMrs. G.

I will buy new underwear this year and not say- just one more time to the old ones....
I will buy a new shirt(s) this year and not say come on baby one one time.... and just because we can dust with our shirt while we are wearing them should we?
I will hug more and pay no attention to the folks who frown on such things.
I will air kiss you more.
and... I will turn on the lights before I walk down the stairs and not find my a** flat on the floor....
I will pay attention to the year.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermeredith@whynot

Mistakes I'd Rather Not Re-Commit:
1: I will not try to make Lucy like me. She's a bitch with a bad attitude, and soon enough, it'll bite her in the butt.
2: I'm going to try to find a way to stop dreaming about my damned ex-boyfriend from like, 20 years ago. he wasn't even that much fun!
3: I will not let my husband choose decor in any public places in our home. *sigh* khaki is NOT a good color on almost anything.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

1. I will not buy clothes only if they are sale.
2. I will not let other, faster runners interfere with my enjoyment of running.
3. I will not lose my temper at other drivers.
4. I will stop apologizing when someone else steps on my toe (you can't see size 11 feet people?).
5. I will not wait until my house is clean before inviting people over.
6. I will try being a love ninja a la Barb Cooper.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermomwhoknits

I will get better at saying no, instead of complaining about how busy I am.
I will try not to waste money, retirement is looming.
My children are grown, let go.
Reduce, reuse, recycle or replace....2013, the year of the empty nest.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah J

I am stealing this from Briget because, boy, do I need it. My daughters (adults) will surely agree:

I will remember that others are on their own journey and it's not my job to tell them how to walk it.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterknittergran

I will remember that others are on their own journey and it's not my job to tell them how to walk it.

knittergran is a wise woman.

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAunt Snow

I will not let my career take over my life.
I will not worry about things beyond my control.
I will not allow myself to be bullied.

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPatience

More time at the studio, even when too hot or too cold.
Be cynical about cynicism.
Clean out the piles of paper, books, fabric, and building material throughout this house, and then start on the furniture. I want to get comfortable with less room - 1200 square feet is too much for two people (though I'm not sure the cat will agree).
Get health insurance, again, either through Obamacare or finding a decent job with benefits (anyone want to hire a caner-survivin', one footed woman who's not a smart aleck - really!)?
Do that daily walk.
Be a better human.
For the next few months, make wings.

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternaomi d.

january 1, 2013...1:30 am

this year....i hope.--nay....i WILL
* say "no" when asked to do things for PTA or for the boys' school (i've done my time. really. i have.)
*work harder at actually doing things i think about doing (crafts, classes, exercise!!!)
*develop a business backbone and when someone asks how much my classes are, i will tell them what i'd really like to get!
*try to get that silly blog up and running again!!
*learn to budget my money and actually save some this year.

happy new year's the year of the Snake...let's hope it's a good one!!!

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterdebKuroiwa

I'm going to take a cue from Mrs. G

1. Regina will never listen to another racist/homophobic/sexist comment without speaking up loudly.
2. Regina will make this the year of changes; and will welcome and seek out all good changes for her life.
3. Regina will get her thighs and ass into a shape that she likes.

(I don't know why I wrote that in the third person, but there ya go.....)

Happy New Years all!!!!!

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRegina

I will not let others treat my time and energy as if it is somehow less valuable than their own.

I will not finish off the bottle of salad dressing that my husband absolutely insisted we buy, he decided he didn't like, and then would have left in the fridge until sometime in the far future we move out of this house. This is what the garbage can is for.

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTC

I hope I'm starting the new year with a new job! Second interview is Thursday and I really, really want it!!!

I will support my son with all the love and care that he needs.
I will enjoy every minute of my time with my daughter during the last 8 months we have her before she goes away to college.
I will pay more attention to my husband.
I will read during the day, rather than leaving it for 15 minutes at bedtime.
I will not do something simply because I can't say no. Maybe I should learn how to say that three letter word!
I will learn to breathe deeply to control my anxiety in stressful situations.
I will talk to my therapist about finding out who I am, not just a mom and wife.
And if there's any time left over, I will try to fit in exercise, keep a clean house, give my lab lots of love, and try to love myself...

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTina C

I will say yes more and no more by really deciding what I want to do.
I won't be cranky to my husband when I'm really just mad at the world.
I will stop giving my opinion even when asked, most people really don't care.
I will continue to choose to be pleasant, kind and generous when possible.
I will influence my grandchildren by example, not by nagging and reprimanding.
I will enjoy the sun more, and the rain more.
I will be thankful for the gift of every new day.

Happy 2013!

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterALBUG

I will find a bra that fits my large boobs
I will call my family more often
I will cook more often
I will look in the mirror and like the lady staring back at me.

Happy New Year. bring it on.

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLinda C Seattle, WA

@ Molly, just plant them earlier. I had to forget tomatoes as a late summer crop - instead, we plant early and enjoy early!

I resolve to not waste so much time
I resolve to try to eat healthier, to follow WW, to lose some weight - no numbers, just some. Anything is better than nothing.
I resolve to continue watching Dr Who with my kids - a show we all can enjoy.

December 31, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternavhelowife

I will not focus on what I have no control over - mostly, people's opinions of me.
I will not rush through the day without taking a few minutes for me - even if it is just 10 minutes sitting quietly.
I will not allow drama from family members to control my every waking moment - it IS your move along.
I will not buy another jar of mustard because it sounds amazing....
I will lose weight so that when I look in the mirror, I'll not be so ashamed of myself - and I'll remind myself that I can do it!
I will listen more, pay attention to those small nuances and be a better wife, daughter, mother and friend.

January 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane Carol

I will quit feeling guilty that I don't love running--I'm going to love walking and be proud of it.
I'm going to quit saying "yes" to every request that comes my way. Friday night is mine to do whatever I want.
I will mind my own business when I see people making mistakes--whether big or small. That's their lesson to learn.

January 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenny in NC

I will do the things it is healthy for me to do--cook healthy food and exercise regularly--if I happen to lose a few pounds doing it, that will be a bonus.

January 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenn @ Juggling Life

I do not think there is anything wrong with buying more underwear rather than doing laundry! :-)

January 3, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLizP

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