Friday
Jun172011
Weekend Witness!
Friday, June 17, 2011 at 4:14PM Mrs. G. 
Need an ear, a shoulder, a slug of scotch or a fellow sister to attest, affirm, bear witness, uphold or verify your good, your bad, your ugly? You can't experience life without feeling it and in Mrs. G's experience, you can't feel it without out sharing it, both the cool and the oh so uncool. Let's lift each other up.
All you have to do is pull up a chair, unhook your bra get comfortable, plant your feet and testify.
Opdracht Viva, Ria Sikkes en Loes Bienemann (rechts) ("Rebelse meiden") / Rebellious women, 1974, no copyright. Courtesy of the Flickr Commons
tagged Back Talk, weekend witness
Back Talk, weekend witness
Reader Comments (43)
I am putting up Mrs. G for reviving the Manor...Seriously, a piece of my life was missing~ I'm thinking u could retire in a flashy castle if u charged admission =0) Thanks Mrs. G for all you do for us Derfs! Oh and I was kidding about the admission part...
I do hereby confess that I am ADDICTED to the Casey Anthony trial. It all happened about 10 minutes from here.
I only take a break when the jury takes a break. I shower while they smoke. I run errands while they eat lunch and I cook dinner when they smoke again. My friend is holding an intervention and taking me to the beach on Monday. I might have to set the DVR.
Seems like layoffs & people being out of work are themes of my week. I'm ok, but people around me are hurting. I daydream of egalitarian communes where everyone is so cheerful to tend gardens and raise barns. A simpler world where we slow down and help each other get through and it'socially acceptable to admit you need help.
Off topic, but awesome pic. The seventies were so awesome, why was I born too late?
I know, Hay, isn't this an incredible photo. One of my favorite things in life is finding the photo for WW. Women are so beautiful...it's a treat to look through photo archives.
Sunshine, I was like that with the OJ trial. My kids were small and I would try to wear them out in the morning so they would take a loooong nap and I could watch the trial.
Jacque, trust me, I get more out of this blog than anyone!
Ashley, I believe you are describing our beloved (fictional) Women's Colony.
Mom died on Wednesday night, exactly 3 months after definitive diagnosis of stage 4 appendiceal cancer. I have some grief, of course, but mostly I'm relieved that her suffering is over.
Tomorrow is high school graduation for son#2; Sunday, my husband is flying across the country to look for our next home. I can't even think about saying goodbye to friends here.
If this reads as very matter-of-fact, that is exactly how I am getting through each day right now -- dealing with each detail and trying to keep it in its own little box.
kcinnova, I'm very sorry.
Mrs G, I also love that image.
@kcinnova -- So sorry about your mother. What a lot of changes you are coping with. I know exactly what you mean about focusing on little things and keeping it all compartmentalized. I hope you can take some joy from the graduation ceremony--a big day.
My testimony is that having lost my dad recently, I will be steering clear of blog reading this weekend, because I can't face seeing all the Father's Day tribute posts.
I don't blame you for steering clear of blogs this weekend, M. How wonderful that you had a dad who stirs such deep feelings. Hang tough. MG
Weekend witness: we canNOT whine about Weiner's willy anymore :) Funny how that sh!t seems to take over the news when financial markets may stumble, wars are fought, diseases cured. What matters most to this country is dingalings!
@kcinnova: so sorry for your loss and *m* for yours as well.
So yesterday I was going through my designated "promotional mail" email box and I saw a Father's day email from Red Robin. I was like, yay! I love Red Robin; their burgers are so tasty! Then I looked a little closer and realized that the subject line of the email was "Put Something in His Wallet for a Change." I flipped my shit. I'm still planning on sending angry letters to the head honchos to let them know exactly how offensive this marketing campaign is to women.
kcinnova and *m*--I'm so very sorry about your respective losses and upcoming challenges. I am sending you both virtual hugs and fortifying thoughts.
Lisa, how obnoxious. I hate that whole "he doles out all the money" stereotype. Write your letter!
I haven't had a day off from "life" for.....can't remember when. I'm beginning to think everyone around me just thinks I'm a wind up doll. While I'm trying hard to hold it all together, my brother has a "meltdown" because of (life) and everyone rushes to his aid....and worries about his well being and "oh poor guy'"s him to the max....and no one seems to notice I'm juggling a full time job, a home, volunteer work, 4 grandkids, an upcoming shower and wedding for my daughter, my granddaughters graduation party, friends who need, elderly parents who have many needs and health issues.....and I just keep trucking along and keep trying to get it all done and smile, when I want to just sit down in the middle of the road and have a good old fashioned cry. And then I feel guilty for bitching. Hope its ok here.....
Diane, you can always bitch guilt-free here. It sounds like it might be time for you to lie down on the living room floor and have a temper tantrum, that will get some attention. That, or check into a hotel for a night or two--alone! MG
@Hay - The seventies were (was?) the decade when adults abandoned their responsibilities and kids were forced to act like adults to make up for it. Also? The fashions were frightening. If you don't believe me, watch the first season or two of the Mary Tyler Moore show - even my beloved MTM couldn't make some of those styles look good!
Give me the good ol' 21st century any day!
Mrs. G, I just noticed the pun in the header - made my day!
Oh my, I had friends who looked just like that! The seventies were fun, and weird too, all at the same time.
kcinnova: I'm so sorry about your mother but I agree, it truly is a blessing once the suffering is done. You will grieve in your own way and at your own pace. Just be sure in the midst of all these changes to take time to care for yourself as well.
And "m" I'm with you... was just reading Facebook postings from a few people who are missing their fathers this weekend, one who recently lost hers too. Mine's been gone six years so it's easier now but I still found myself wiping away tears this morning. In an odd way I feel comforted by these tidbits of lingering grief, it makes me feel more alive somehow. If that makes any sense at all?
Ashley: please let me know when you find such a place. I'm in... not lovin' this world lately. My husband is on month 16 of unemployment with few prospects. Difficult to prove age discrimination but I know it's there. He's pretty good at digging in the gardens though! And he's turning into a fine house-husband... with some training of course!
I hope a great job comes along for your husband soon! Oh, yes ma'am, age discrimination is alive and well and a slippery bastard to prove. A friend of mine just schooled me in not answering any questions during a phone interview that reveal age, how to dodge them gracefully. Good luck! MG
kcinnova, so sorry for your loss. Looks like you have your hands full of losses right now. Be gentle with your self if you can.
Frank has another staph infection. We have been mired in this cycle of me nagging about him taking care of his skin (allergy-induced eczema) and him getting angry and being stubborn and obviously not taking care of his skin. This week my wise beyond her years sister pointed out the codependent nature of the whole mess and I am done with it. He can be a grown up and take care of himself or suffer the consequences. No more nagging and hand wringing from me.
kcinnova, I'm so sorry for your loss. Take comfort in the joyful memories you have of your mother, and find solace in the knowledge that she is at peace and free from suffering.
I got the husband a 3-book set of outdoor project ideas; woodworking, water features and stone work. I should have gone through and put post-its on the projects I wanted for our backyard.
The whole world is just so infuriating right now. Casey Anthony, and in our area, two parents who left their infant home with a ferret that chewed off seven of the baby's fingers, firefighters looting in Joplin, continuing discrimination against gay people and the government taking the place of the morality police by legislating marriage and when life starts, ongoing wars that are costing our country billions of dollars in other countries while US Citizens, the people who pay for these things, have no jobs and are losing their homes, bankers and CEOs still rolling in bonuses while firing workers left and right. And all the while, nothing is being solved because politicians are too busy pandering to the extreme left or right. I'm so fucking sick of it. I hope the Women's Colony can be on a small island that isn't part of any country. We can arrange that, right?
I think hard on all the possibilities every night before I go to sleep. Yes, maybe we can get special status like the Vatican (or perhaps shove the pope and his peeps out and take occupancy, like squatters--they could use a little estrogen up in there!). MG
Delivered a healthy, wonderful baby girl 2 weeks ago today who sleeps for 5 hours at a stretch sometimes, but who isn't back up to her birth weight yet and now I have to supplement nursing with formula.
I feel angry at my body, that it has let me down with my 4th child. She was 2 pounds smaller than our smallest baby (her oldest brother) and now I'm not making enough milk for her to grow the way she's supposed to. I know some of it is postpartum hormones but I am really angry at my body right now.
Congratulations, Amy! Give the chickadee a kiss from her Auntie Mrs. G.
Part 1 of the Professor's settlement from being hit by a car over a year and a half ago arrived yesterday! Big huge sigh of relief. Now I can get caught up on bills and pay some stuff off and not worry about whether I spend too much money on #4's graduation next week. Plus, I will have all five girls (and my grandson and #3's boyfriend) home for graduation! I can't wait for the chaos to begin!!!!
Oooh, your chaos sounds fun! Have fun, Marms. MG
@kcinnova - it is such a mix of emotion in those circumstances. I hope you allow yourself space and time to grieve and then to remember.
@AmyG - when destructoBoy was born it took us a few days to figure out he wasn't feeding properly and resolve the situation. It wasn't how I had planned but supplementing breastfeeds worked and my boy started and then continued to gain weight. The end result was a happier healthy baby. That was worth the beating to my hopes and ideals. Good luck.
Witness this week? My nearly 13 yo is turning out kind of awesome. Go her!
The world always needs more awesome thirteen-year-olds! Yay. MG
@AmyG Congrats Amy on your lovely little girl - and try hard not to be angry at your body - after all, it nurtured and produced this lovely little being (who has the sense to sleep 5 hours at a time, yet!) My lovely little girl took 4 months to get to a solid 12 pounds - and I finally had to start supplementing. The changes in her were unbelievable - not just her weight, but her temperament. Her lack of weight gain was simply because she was expending as much energy in nursing as the calories she was taking in. The formula just "topped" her up - and she slept better and almost overnight turned into this lovely happy baby. 18 years on, she is a lovely happy 18 year old.
I'm off on a women's weekend - my book club runs away to a cabin (more like a mansion) in Windermere, 3 hours west of Calgary. Its a mini Women's Colony if you like - we drink and eat and celebrate reading and debate politics and life challenges. And shop and wander in art galleries and I knit - and I celebrate that my children can organize their Father's Day celebrations without me hovering. Bonus!!
Have a blast! It sounds like an incredible weekend. MG
@kcinnova, and "m" heartfelt hugs to you as you navigate this path. Be kind to yourselves, you deserve a wide and gentle trail.
@ Amy G, you're making decisions and doing exactly what your daughter needs -- that's the definition of motherhood. Wear it proudly.
Kcinnova, hugs and more. I've followed your struggle with your mom's health and know how hard this is for you.
thank god its the weekend! One more day (Monday) at work before we fly off to London for 2 weeks. We'll see our son for the first time in 6 months, and get to enjoy the city.
I think the last time I spent obsessed with a news story was the Clinton impeachment hearings - I was so glued to NPR that I spent days cleaning my kitchen (that was where the radio was)! That's the last time my kitchen was so clean! Haven't followed the Casey Anthony story in depth - it's too sad.
Feeling both hopeful and pessimistic at the same time about the current situation in the economy and politics. Go, Wisconsin recalls! What the heck is going on with the economy? Don't know whether to laugh or be horrified at the Republican prez field.
I'm going to come back later when I have more time, but I wanted to tell Karen how sorry I am about your mum. Stiff margaritas on me when you come back this way to deal with things. I hope graduation is all that and more--I hate to pull out the Disney "circle of life" crap but it's your son's turn to move foward and I hope he has the best day ever and is surrounded by all the people who think he is beyond fantastic!
Amy G, I couldn't nurse my daughter when she was born (I tried everything, even the thing where you tape the tubes to your nipples, nice look). I finally nursed and supplemented formula and of both my kids (my son nursed exclusively), she was the heartiest and healthiest. Go easy on yourself and try to focus on your daughter's joy of a full tummy! You're both so lucky to have each other! Jealous here.
kcinnova, my sympathy to you. It is hard, and I am thinking of you.
kcinnova I'm sorry for your loss. You have a whole network of women here who care about you. Let us know if we can help you somehow.
I testify that alla y'all helped me make it through the week and things are really looking up here in Vermont. DH accidentally read through one of my so-sad emails to friends and (thanks to recent counseling) instead of taking it personally has been really supportive and listening to my ideas for improvement.
@kcinnova - my deepest sympathy. Glad you're taking it step by step, but remember we're here to listen.
@Amy G. -- Mother's Milk tea really helped me increase my milk output with baby #2, but please remember that whatever you do is right for your baby. If your body is tired of producing milk (and who wouldn't be after four kids?), give her a break, supplement, take a 5 hour nap, and glory in your newest kid. She'll be wonderful, especially with such a concerned, loving mom.
@Lisa -- thanks for your outrage! Stupid marketers.
Mrs G -- I haven't said it yet, but THANK YOU for the Women's Colony. It's the only place online I've ever felt at home, and you are a guiding star for me.
That is some good news! Girl, get thee to an Ikea! MG
My mother-in-law is hospitalized with a stroke. My dear daughter's dearest joy-filled dog was violently and oh so painfully removed from this earth by careless gate closers and a 55 mph road. A friend is ill, recently diagnosed with chronic disease. I got a ridiculously expensive speeding ticket. I haven't had a ticket in 25 years. In the most humiliating manner, due to the curve balls that life was lobbing at me, I cried when the nice motorcycle cop gave me the fucking ticket. Humiliating, I say....
Now on the good side: My mother-in-law is in a great facility and making fantastic progress. The loss of our dog was painful only for us - he died instantly. My friend is cheerful. I can get the ticket reduced without having to go to court.
I can't erase the crying, however. That one stings a bit.
Cheryl, the cop was probably relieved that you were merely crying and not screaming obcenities at the top of your lungs about his MOMMA--have you seen any of those cop shows? I'm sorry for your run of bad luck but I need you to mail me your good attitude ASAP--I don't bounce back nearly as quickly, working on it. Have a great weekend. MG
The show closes this weekend! The show closes this weekend! I cant wait to be rid of these whiny bitches. (Pardon my french....)
Then onto adventures in West Virginia.... yes, this city girl is headed to a mountain top in West Virginia. Hilarity is bound to ensue.....
Have fun and be very bad, Regina! MG
kcinnova and m, I'm sorry for your losses. There is no schedule for grief, you will work through this as you both see fit.
Congratulations, AmyG! Give your little girl a snuzzle from me.
Cheryl, don't give it another thought. I'm sure the cop has seen it (and worse) before.
After a year of sticking to my convictions regarding a church matter, today I conceded defeat. At least I was able to articulate my objections like a grown-up, and I was thanked for being polite because no one else was. Which makes me wonder why I attend a church where 'polite' is not the norm. Sometimes they act like poo-flinging howler monkeys.
Ladies, and Gary, I wish you all a good weekend.
You have a good one as well, C. MG
I'm thankful that my 13yo son stopped slacking off and finished out the school year with good grades. It's amazing what can happen when you actually study! Now he wants to go to Europe next summer with People to People, a student ambassador travel program. Has anyone heard of it or had experience with it? I'm worried he's not mature enough yet.
Thanks, Mrs. G, for reviving the Colony. It's a bright spot in my day!
I haven't heard of it, Sharon, but he's got a year to make the dough and prove his maturity--nothing like goal to shake things up. Good for him. I'm so happy he had a strong finish to the year--and now he can kick back, chill and do all your heavy cleaning. Ha. MG
Oh, boy, I'm home from work and while I had a fine day, one of my co-workers had a really shitty day. She works in the parking lot, as a parking lot attendant. For some reason, a crazy patron accosted her, actually tried to run her over with her car! She called into the office for help on the radio, and I was relaying her call while on the phone to 911. They showed up right away - plus the supervisor went right out to help, so she was OK, but it was a nasty nasty experience.
Then, to top it all off, after it was all over, she went out to her car in the employee parking lot, and she was so flustered and upset that when she backed up, she hit another employee's car!!!
Poor thing. I felt so bad for her. What a crappy day.
I'm sorry about your mom, kcinovva. Hugs.
Have a great weekend my fellow derfs!
Aunt Snow, your poor co-worker. That is a spectacularly bad day. I hope someone rubs her feet tonight!
@ Sharon, When we lived in Dallas I had friends who did the people to people thing with their kids. They had really good experiences with it. From what I understand they're very well organized and communicate well with the families back in the States so they're kept up to date with what the kids are doing. That was in the 90's, so I'm sure with social networking that things are even better on the communication front. I agree with Mrs. G. Let the little Dickens earn the money to go. It's a good goal and would promote maturity. Good luck.
My washer broke. I told my family they were no longer allowed to sweat but they didn't listen. Typical.
I made it a point to not complain about the situation, even though we can't really afford to splurge on new appliances. My friends and I laughed our heads off at thoughts of me coming with my basketful of clothes to the (very public and busy) lake. We weighted in on the option of my family becoming nudists and we laughed some more.
The next day one of my friends called, "Do you still need a washer? Because I got you one." She heard of someone upgrading their appliances and getting rid of their previous, still working one and thought of me. She and her husband even delivered it to our home.
Bless the power of women united.
Caro, Amen.
My teenage stepdaughters are coming for a visit next month. One of them, the one who hates me, is staying for three weeks. I am worried she is going to poison my food or something. I'm feeling guilty about the fact that I am dreading it all...
Strength sent. MG
kcinnova, so very sorry, may the sorrow mellow in time with good sweet memories. however long it takes. Amy, congrats!! Lots of good comments already, and yes I know feeling angry at your body but it already did the hard part, right? be kind to yourself mama :).
I've been yelling at my kids for days, to the point that husband pulled me aside yesterday and pointed out how much they were just mimicking me with their yelling at each other. Fucking hurts but I know it's true. Have to get the frustrations out some other way, and accept that this is what life is for now, and may not change any day soon. Partly angry because I'm cramming in work on top of homeschooling and house crap, and can't seem to fit it all in. Also have the client from hell (full of vague but defined ideas, that she can see but not quite do herself) who thinks I can pull off design miracles in no time. Quite frankly, turning out of focus vague photos into flat medieval-style art, that still looks 3-D, is rather beyond me, and beyond any other reasonable designer too. Definitely didn't charge enough for this one.
"Quite frankly, turning out of focus vague photos into flat medieval-style art, that still looks 3-D, is rather beyond me, and beyond any other reasonable designer too."
Oh Bethany, I'm speechless. Who wouldn't rely heavily on yelling when wrestling with medieval art! MG
Because of our valiant leaders' heroic efforts toward balancing the budget, they are not only going to be out some of the taxes I paid them, they'll be giving me handouts instead. Plus, I'm now not in any kind of position to contribute towards the economy by buying stuff or going out to eat or taking a vacation. And I'm only one of many, many others in the same boat. Brilliant math skills there, guys.
This wasn't a complete surprise, but it still took me all week to digest.
@1Les and @MrsG....thanks for the info and wisdom. It's hard to imagine sending my oldest so far away, but I agree the process (earning $$, etc) would be a great opportunity to build maturity. And bonus...I could get a clean garage/floors/tidy yard in the process!
Really, I just feel overwhelmed. Too many changes, too many of them difficult, and I am so frickin' tired of grown ass people who are not my kids wanting me to be the mommy.
My usual state in the past has been optimistic and happy. Now it's not and I miss it.
My MIL and SIL are visiting. They got here yesterday, and will be here for 10 days. My husband and I are going on a 6-day vacation to California for our 16th anniversary. These people, while wonderful, are the MOST BORING PEOPLE ever. I mean, I LIKE them. Like them a lot! But? They sit. ANd they maybe watch tv. And they watch my son playing video games. And then? They sit.
I'm a good hostess, and I don't know what to do with myself. I have tried offering food and drinks, etc. but they don't NEED anything. They don't want to GO anywhere. Do anything. They just like to sit ... in the same room.
I keep coming up with errands to do. Hell, I've weeded the garden and picked up dog poop in the back yard... I have scrubbed the sink.
How am I such an ungrateful wretch? Aughh!
@anonymous - hang in there. California is in the offing.