Some people measure out their lives in dollars and cents. Others measure out their lives in wins and losses. T.S. Eliot's J. Alfred Prufrock measured out his life in coffee spoons. But Mrs. G? She measures her life out in hairstyles and, reader, she has had so very many.
It all started in 1969, when Mrs. G. finally grew some hair. For the first eighteen months of her life, she had none. You know how most mothers can spend hours discussing the beauty and adorableness of their children? Well, Mrs. G's mother has confessed that she had reservations about Mrs. G's overall appearance from the get-go. Oh we loved you dearly, Mrs. G's mother has said the last forty Thanksgivings on more than one occasion, but you were short and bald. We just put you in pretty dresses and, on special occasions, Scotch taped pink ribbon to your head.