Mrs. G. adores fresh starts and new beginnings. She likes the excitement of the first day of school and the tender purple crocuses announcing the prelude to spring. But nothing, nothing compares to the thrill and promise of a brand new year.
Around this time each year, once the glittered dust of Christmas finally settles, Mrs. G. starts planning the new and improved version of Mrs. G. The one who flosses and moisturizes every day. The one who will finally read The Brothers Karamazov and jog her way to a firmer ass. Romantic? Yes. Unrealistic? Perhaps. But Mrs. G. is a devout student of the you-never-know-so-give-it-a-shot school of reasoning. One of these years, she's going to surprise herself and evolve into a woman so spectacular, so kick-assable that she will be able take a couple of years off from self improvement and recline on her laurels. Well, damn it all, people, in the spirit of the new year and blue sky optimism, Mrs. G. is just going to say it: reader, this is that year!Mrs. G's rose colored glasses
Mrs. G's New Year's Resolution #1 is to try and tread a little lighter on the earth. Yes, Mrs. G. has placed those energy efficient light bulbs in all of Derfwad Manor's sockets and has made peace with the inferior, sucky light they throw off. She drives a compact car and in deference to her not-so-secret boyfriend, Jimmy Carter, keeps her thermostat at a chilly 63 degrees. But after watching Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, Mrs. G. had to face the fact that when it came to leaving a lighter carbon footprint, she was cutting major corners in an attempt to prevent her eco-friendly contributions from being too, er, inconvenient. Mrs. G. has been known to chuck an empty glass mayonnaise jar into the trash simply because the recycling bin was full, and she was too lazy to walk outside and empty it. In October, she purchased ten canvas grocery bags to eliminate the need for paper or plastic, and she has used them exactly once because each time she goes grocery shopping, she forgets to bring them into the store. By the time she is at the checkout stand and realizes her error, she thinks to hell with it, because she is too lazy to walk out to her car and get them. Next time, she thinks to herself, next time. It's always next time. Are you noticing the running theme here? Lazy. Ass. This year, Mrs. G. is going to consciously think of concrete ways to cut waste and reduce excess and then do them.
2008 is the year Mrs. G. will quit bitching about how other people are destroying the planet and take a good, hard look in her own backyard....where, come spring, there will be fresh herbs, baby lettuce and big fat tomatoes growing.