Mrs. G's Secret Boyfriend #9

Disclaimer: Mrs. G. has been married for almost eighteen years to the same man, Mr G. He is handsome, kind, loyal, and doesn't do household chores of any kind is a wonderful father. Many, many people (some of whom do not reside at Derfwad Manor) believe he makes the best pasta sauce in the world. Period. He uses a secret ingredient, and he will not share it with anyone, because Mr. G. is Sicilian and that's just the way they are.

Mrs. G's hearts a poundin' as she introduces George Timothy Clooney as her Secret Boyfriend #9. She says secret boyfriend because while her love and esteem for George is as dramatic and exciting as a trip to the ER, he has no idea that Mrs. G. exists. Ahh...Mrs. G. thinks unrequited love is healthy in a long term marriage she wants to last.

It all began in 1979 when Mrs. G. loved watching a TV show called The Facts of Life. The show was set in a dormitory of an all-girls school, Eastland Academy. Mrs. G. was fond of all the girls on the show, but she really liked Jo the best. Jo was a tomboy and she didn't take any crap and she had beautiful eyes. Mrs. G. liked Jo so much that she put a poster of her up on her wall, causing her mother to light candles and pray the rosary grave concern. Six seasons later, a handy man named George Burnett showed up (see above) at Eastland Academy. Mrs. G. forgot all about Jo and turned all her affection toward George. Mrs. G's mother breathed a sigh of relief and resumed her dream of future grandchildren. When reminiscing about his Facts of Life days, George said, "If I surved a mullet, I can survive anything."
He survived all right. Mrs. G. went on to college while George wrapped things up with the Eastland Girls. They reconnected when George played the cocky boss Booker Brooks on the Roseanne show. Booker had a little something something going on with Roseanne's sister, Jackie. Mrs. G. wanted to run her fingers through Booker's floppy hair. Above, George is standing next to Max, his beloved pot bellied pig who unfortunately died in 2006.

Things really started heating up in 1994, when George starred in a little show called ER. He played Dr. Doug Ross and he was the original Mcdreamy, he laid the foundation for all future and less worthy, Mcdreamies. ER was hugely popular, and it was at this point that Mrs. G. had to start fighting other women off, mainly a slut nurse named Carol Hathaway who went on to molest Dr. Doug Ross for six seasons until she trapped him by getting pregnant with twins. They both left the show after season six to move to Seattle and raise their twin daughters. Not many people know this, but Doug and Carol divorced bitterly in 2000, the year Mrs. G. and her family moved back to Washington. Hmmmm....
OK, Reader, just look at this handsome bastard. Doesn't he scream old school like Cary Grant? Suave and debonair, George can work a tuxedo like nobody's business. Look at those come hither eyes and that naughty smile. When nobody is watching, just lean over and kiss the screen. Mrs. G. won't tell.

Could George's Danny Ocean and his modern day Rat Pack have been any cooler than in this movie? George is one of only two men to be featured on the cover of Vogue and People magazine voted him Sexiest Man Alive in 1997 and 2006. Women want him and men want to be him. Mrs. G. just wants to hug him. A lot.

Lest, Reader, you think George is just all about handsome, he donated one million dollars to the Hurricane Relief Fund for victims of Katrina. In April of 2006, he spent 10 days in Chad and Sudan with his father to make a film about Darfur's refugees. This year, he founded Not on our Watch , along with his fellow Ocean's Eleven actors Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and Jerry Weintraub , to provide humanitarian relief to the people of Dafur.

George says he will never marry and spends much of his time at his home in the Italian village of Laglio. He recently told an interveiwer, "I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl's leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can't even play Chopsticks." Mrs. G. loves martinis and Chopstix. Is it any wonder George Clooney is her Secret Boyfriend #9?

Ciao Baby!


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Reader Comments (25)

Oops that was me...I was signed into blogger as someone else because I had been doing surgery on their blog ...ANYWAY...Yes, I can so see you hugging George...if it happens please get a photo so we can make a banner out of it!

October 14, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterShabbyInTheCity

George is soooooooo hot!

October 14, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterImpleo Me

We might have to duke it out on this one, gf.

October 14, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterVallen

I believe that we all need secret boyfriends. My present is Joel McHale ... at least until Leonardo DeCaprio gets over this whole "too many carbon footprints in long distance relationships" thing.

October 14, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Personally, I'm all about the Depp (wasn't he Secret Boyfriend #2?), but I will say that George looks super-cool in a Tux.

I don't think he could carry off the dreds and pirate costume though, and since that's my main criteria for a secret boyfriend, Depp's still the winner.

October 14, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterUrbanCowgirl

Swwooooonnn...drooooooolll! Pant! You know what's really funny? I watched Facts of Life religiously and never realized that he was the handyman! Ooooh, all the more reason to get the all of the episodes on DVD. :)

He is so hot!

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMoogie

I'm just waiting to see how many secret boyfriends you have. We're on #9 now, I wonder how many there are to go.

Could you find a couple that are older than my own children for me?


October 15, 2007 | Unregistered Commentersee you there!

Bossy loves her some George. What a manly man with an extra serving of All-Man.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterBOSSY

I am signing up to his fan club via you!

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered Commentertongue in cheek

He does scream old school Cary Grant in that photo. Good likeness.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered Commentercardiogirl

every time I take a gander at ol' George I get all lustylusty. His first (and as he said only) wife ruined it for the rest of us.

*great big sigh*

p.s. thanks for stopping by.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterSmockLady

Okay, I feel REALLY dumb right now, because, I also, was a big fan of Facts of Life and of Jo, and of hottee McHott Hott...BUT somehow in the ensuing 25 odd years, marriage, children, jobs, and approximately 249,782 loads of laundry....I never even realized that the object of any lustful thoughts of today, GEORGE CLOONEY was one and the same as old Hottee McHott Hott on the Facts of Life. WHAT is the matter with me?? I obviously do NOT watch enough Entertainment Tonight....and I must be completely celebrity challenged. I am mortified.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMary Alice

Shabby: If Mrs. G. ever has a photo of she and George hugging, you can bet it will be plastered all over this blog. George, call me.

Impleo: Oh yes he is.

Vallen: The beauty of imaginary boyfriends is that they can be shared.

Jodie: Joel McHale is also Mrs. G's daughter's secret boyfriend. He is so funny.

Urban cowgirl: There really is only one JD...Mrs. G. can tell your love is forever.

Moogie: Mrs. G. encourages drooling.

Darla: Mrs. G. has a very rich inner life so she has no shortage of secret boyfriends. For an older babe, see Secret Boyfriend #3. Mrs. G's husband is sixteen years her senior, so she has a weakness for older men too. Stay tuned.

bossy: hubba hubba.

Tongue in cheek: you are now a charter member of Mrs. G's George Clooney Love Club.

Cardiogirl: old school, definitely.

Smocklady: Glad you took a break from making smocks. Mrs. G. loves fact, she just loves saying smocks.

Mary Alice: It's annoying to those around you if you know EVERYTHING. Glad to fill you in on some Georgeness.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

I would like to spread that boy on a cracker and gobble him up. He is JUST. TOO. WONDERFUL.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterwordgirl

Oh be still, my beating heart!!

I am a big fan of your boyfriend. I really fell in love with him when he played his first "romantic character" on Sisters, when he played Falconer. I Can't count the Roseanne stint as sexy because let's face was Roseanne!!

He is quite yummy!!

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterGrandy

Wordgirl: spread on a cracker? Only you, Wordgirl, only you.

Grandy: Mrs. G. forgot about Sisters. She loved that show...Sela Ward was her fave.

October 15, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Delicious. Simply delicious. Impale him on a stick-dip-him-in-batter-fry- him-crisp-sell-him-at-the-state-fair-delicious!!!

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterZelda

I try not to drool visibly over George in front of Mr. CPA, though not always successfully.

Oh, and? He's also a Democrat...

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDenise

Zelda, Mrs. G. has never thought of putting George on a stick and frying him. She likes the way you think.

Denise, go ahead and drool...just do it behind spinning wheel. Mrs. G. hopes you have figured out those technical difficulties.

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Here is how to catch George:

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered Commenterkabbage

Thank you for identifying the animal as a pig. I thought it was an ugly dog. ;^)

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterB.E.C.K.

Kabbage, thanks for the link. It's been a long day and a dose of George might get Mrs. G. through cooking dinner

b.e.c.k, thanks for taking a break from ants and nightmares to come over here and partake in Mrs. G's fantasy life.

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Crap he's handsome. Did you watch Sisters? He was on that, too, before they killed him off so he could be on ER.

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJ at

J, Sisters was one of Mrs. G. favorite shows. While she loved George best of all, she also loved Sela Ward. Mrs. G. thinks she has the best eyebrows in Hollywood.

October 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. G.

Mmmmmmmm good.

October 18, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterRosa

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