Derf Assist List > Manipulation: how to deal?

I have recently (finally) become aware of the amount of manipulation my friends/relatives/etc. seem to try on me. I know that means that I attract manipulators, but that's a story for another day.
My question: when you catch someone at it, is it better to
A: Ignore it
B: Call them on it and state my displeasure
C: Fight

January 6, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkate in MI

I would take it on a case by case basis. If their manipulation is something that could negatively affect you, or goes against your own personal beliefs, call them on their crap. If they're doing it to get their way in a situation, and in the end, it won't matter to you either way, let it ride. I seem to have married in to a family of manipulators, and over the years I've had to learn to try look at the long-term picture and try to figure out if what someone is doing or saying is going to have a serious impact on me.

January 7, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

I'm with Kelley. I think it depends on the situation (and your mood on any given day). I used to the victim of a master manipulator and I (with the help of a therapist who provided reality checks and suggestions) learned to set major boundaries and just deal with the guilt heaped on me by the person. I finally figured out that I'd rather deal with the guilt (it even fades with time) than do things I DON'T WANT TO DO or be pushed around by an emotional bully. It was hard work for me but worth it.

That said, there are times I can feel someone I love manipulating me and if it's not a big thing, I just roll with it.

I hope this helps. Life is too short to be pushed around or find yourself doing things you don't want to do over and over again.

January 8, 2014 | Registered CommenterMrs. G.